ON： 鸟叔正式入主曼联
[–]【Arsenal】1hive 3085 points 21 hours ago
Thank goodness, we can't beat United and we can't beat Mourinho. Now we only lose two games per season instead of four!
感谢上帝，我厂又赢不了曼联又赢不了鸟。现在我厂一个赛季能少输2场球了！
[–]【Manchester United】AspectsDruid 974 points 21 hours ago
I like your positivity.
心态好。
[–]Sumit316 306 points 20 hours ago
DON'T YOU DARE BE SOUR!
别酸！
[–]【Chelsea】EnergetikNA 209 points 21 hours ago
Imo your curse is with Chelsea too, not just Mourinho. That's 4 games or 12 points gone every season. Rip
个人觉得你厂也怵切尔西，不只是鸟。接下来每个赛季4场球12分是没跑了。安息
[–]【Arsenal】abhi91 75 points 21 hours ago
We can beat Chelsea. Look what happened with avb
谁说我厂赢不了车子。看看博阿斯时代都发生了什么
[–]【Chelsea】lonerwithboner 112 points 21 hours ago
We didn't play the first half of 2011-2012. We started the season in February.
我车2011-12赛季上半赛季是放弃了。2月份才开始踢球的。
[–]【West Ham United】Cmoore4099 166 points 20 hours ago
Hey! It's just like this season!
擦！那就跟这赛季一毛一样啊！
[–]【Liverpool】Sibztagram 1448 points 22 hours ago
Finally I can dislike him and United at the same time! :)
终于，一石二鸟，可以一口气黑曼联和穆鸟了！:)
[–]【Liverpool】jamielfc1994 529 points 22 hours ago
Them two and Ibra? I only have so much piss to boil.
这俩和伊布？我得憋个大招了。
[–]【England】fisherpriceman 232 points 22 hours ago
Maybe Jose will finally sign Gerrard on a 6 month loan too.
说不定鸟叔灵机一动短租杰拉德6个月。
[–]【Wales】MrSqueegee95 171 points 22 hours ago
Mourinho has always rated Anthony Gerrard.
鸟叔一直挺看好安东尼-杰拉德的。
[–]【Chelsea】*ucfk**youidontneedone 799 points 21 hours ago
The next 2 and a half years are going to suck
接下来的2年半难受了
[–]【England】MunkyUK 269 points 21 hours ago
Wonder who the mole in the United dressing room will be.
好奇最后谁会是曼联的更衣室内鬼。
[–]【Chelsea】*ucfk**youidontneedone 529 points 21 hours ago
De Gea.
It's always the Spanish keeper right?
德赫亚。
每次凶手不都是西班牙门将吗？
[–]【Liverpool】Yirandom 105 points 20 hours ago
An Porto is getting their fax machine ready.
波尔图已经备好传真机了。
[–]【Sheffield Wednesday】Imnutsatthis 330 points 22 hours ago
Fucking hell, the coverage from Sky has been an absolute cringe-fest, glad it's finally over
我勒个草，天空体育已经各种跪舔了，终于踏马的结束了
[–]【Liverpool】shoonzky 51 points 22 hours ago
This is mad. Just mad.
疯了，疯逼了。
[–]【Tottenham Hotspur】lie_smith 182 points 22 hours ago
What a shit show next season is going to be.
下赛季这腥风血雨不敢想象。
[–]【Everton】high_side 241 points 21 hours ago
BREAKING: It has been reported that Claudio wears tin hat to protect himself from mind games.
最新消息：据称，拉涅利已经佩戴钢盔以抵挡心理战。
[–]【Chelsea】actuallyamjack 500 points 22 hours ago
Ah *ucfk**. I can't believe he's done this.
啊草。还是没法相信鸟叔竟然叛变了。
[–]Jmsaint 68 points 22 hours ago
Maybe Chelsea shouldn't have sacked him
所以其实你车一开始就不应该解雇他的
[–]【Republic of Ireland】JWL1092[S] 303 points 22 hours ago
The forces of evil have combined
恶势力已经顺利会师了
[–]【Croatia】TheConundrum98 224 points 22 hours ago
Not just yet
Zlatan is yet to sign
不不不
伊布还没到呢
[–]【Arsenal】1hive 82 points 22 hours ago
The trifecta of evil
恶魔三重奏
[–]【Liverpool】imthejuice 129 points 22 hours ago
Literally the Axis of Evil
显然是邪恶中轴线
[–]【Aston Villa】feedmechips 1017 points 6 hours ago
Cut to an apartment in Manchester. Mata sits on his couch, a single tear falls down his cheek
镜头切到曼彻斯特的一处宅邸。马塔*河蟹*在沙发上，眼角有翔滑落
[–]【Plymouth Argyle】TriggerEvans9 1480 points 5 hours ago
"Hello José, my old friend. You're going to tranfer me again."
“若泽我的老朋友啊。你又要把我卖了。”（《寂寞之声》歌词，下面的都是歌词梗）
[–]【Manchester United】agentjob 207 points 5 hours ago
"Because a tear softly dripping. Left his eyes while he was listening."
“眼泪悄悄滑落。马塔听着听着就湿了。”
[–]DerailQuestion 160 points 5 hours ago
And the pain, Jose planted in my heart. Still remains.
若泽埋藏在我心底的伤。还在隐隐作痛。
[–]【Manchester United】the_fartinator 256 points 4 hours ago
Within the sound of faxes.
伴随着传真机的刷刷声。
[–]【Real Madrid】ThatAeroGuy 339 points 6 hours ago
Can't wait to see how this turns out. The fight for the supremacy of Manchester is going to be very intense now with both clubs have some of the world's best managers.
期待最后会是怎么个情况。现在曼彻斯特内战越发激烈了，两边可以说都拥有世界上最好的主帅。
[–]Ckh_spurs 497 points 6 hours ago
Welcome Jose 'copyright' Mourinho
欢迎若泽-版权所有不得抄袭-穆里尼奥（吐槽曼联欢迎穆帅的图上，穆里尼奥的名字旁边带有版权标记）
[–]【Arsenal】Nutrig 257 points 6 hours ago
They should do it like the old PES games. Change his name to Jesé Mardingio or something.
他们应该学以前实况足球那样起个假名什么的。比如说赫塞-马尔蒂尼奥之类的。
[–]【Juventus】that-there 263 points 6 hours ago
Joseph Marino, of Manchester Red.
曼彻斯特红队主帅，约瑟夫-马里诺。
[–]【Liverpool】StumpzLFC 94 points 5 hours ago
With his assistant, Ryan Goggs
和他的助教，瑞安-狗嗝死
[–]informate 500 points 6 hours ago
6 month old repost. Mods, get on it.
半年前的新闻还挖出来发。版主，*帖删**。
[–]【Manchester United】Warlord973 1136 points 6 hours ago
Is @ManUtd reliable?
曼联官微的消息靠不靠得住啊？
[–]【Lyngby BK】rightinthebumholey 157 points 6 hours ago*
nah that photo definitely seems photoshopped to me, he looks unrealistically kind in that photo?
感觉不行，我看着照片肯定PS过啊，穆鸟看起来哪有那么慈祥的？
[–]【Manchester United】DanAtkinson 108 points 6 hours ago*
Would be nice if the back of that shirt said 'Ibrahimovic'.
Edit: It says 'Mourinho 1'. The crafty *ucfk**er is after de Gea's place.
要是他手里那件球衣背后印着“伊布拉希莫维奇”那就屌了。
编辑：原来印的是“穆里尼奥，1号”。操了这比竟然是来抢河鸭的位置的。
[–]【Chelsea】koolerjames 798 points 6 hours ago
You said you'll destroy the sith, not join them!!
你说过你是要毁灭西斯，而不是加入他们！！（星战梗）
[–]【York City】SupermotoSchmidt 631 points 6 hours ago
Mate, you lot with Emperor Abramovich are the sith. UTD are just a pack of bastards.
哥们儿，你们跟阿布大帝一伙的才是西斯吧。曼联只是一群乌合之众罢了。
[–]【Argentina】irawwwr 154 points 6 hours ago
Eva is Rey
伊娃就是雷（星战7主角）
[–]RnC_Dev 259 points 6 hours ago
Costa is Jar Jar Binks.
科斯塔是加加-宾克斯（前传三部曲里的搞笑角色）。
[–]【Manchester United】guniz 106 points 5 hours ago
I would say David Luiz would make a more fitting Jar Jar Binks.
我觉得鲁伊斯和加加-宾克斯更搭一些才对。
[–]【Chelsea】halfbaked_zed 249 points 6 hours ago
I hate life.
我恨生活。
[–]【Aston Villa】CheloniaMydas 97 points 6 hours ago
Why? You lot sacked him?.... Twice!
为毛？炒他2次的人不也是你吗……？
[–]【Chelsea】pickinoutheferns 141 points 5 hours ago
tbf /u/halfbaked_zed didn't sack him, the Chelsea board sacked him.
说实话LZ并没有炒穆里尼奥，是切尔西炒的他。
[–]【Eintracht Braunschweig】trbnb 112 points 5 hours ago
How do we know it's not the account of the Chelsea board?
你又知道LZ这号不是切尔西董事会的号来？
[–]【Chelsea】EezoManiac 106 points 6 hours ago
I'm not crying
It's just been raining
On my face
And if you think you see some tear tracks down my cheeks
Please. Please, don't tell my mates
我没有哭
只是雨
打在我脸上
如果你觉得是眼泪流到我的脸颊上
千万。千万不要告诉我的朋友
[–]【Manchester United】bazhvn 34 points 6 hours ago
You're Mata?
马塔蜀黍？