Lebron James was so hated back in 2012 that even a captured Al-Qaeda member wrote letters expressing his disgust at his decision to go to Miami
詹姆斯在2012年前后受到的憎恨铺天盖地，甚至连一名被捕的基地组织成员都曾写信表示自己对于詹姆斯去热火的决定感到恶心。
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Muhammad Rahim who was Bin Laden translator and captured at Guantanamo said to his Akron-born lawyer that "LeBron James is a very bad man and should apologize to the city of Cleveland".
Muhammad Rahim曾是本-拉登的翻译，后被关押在关塔那摩监狱。而他曾对自己出生在阿克伦的律师说：“詹姆斯这人太坏了，他该向克利夫兰这座城市道歉。”
文章链接: https://www.cbssports.com/nba/news/osama-bin-ladens-translator-wanted-lebron-james-to-apologize-to-cleveland/
[–]WizardsJesusWasABoneThug 1534 指標 14小時前
This is honestly a 10/10 post
不吹不黑，这是个10-10的满分帖。
[–]Sunsximca 1500 指標 13小時前
Nah it's a 9/11 post
不不，是满分11分得9分的9-11帖。
[–]WizardsJesusWasABoneThug 643 指標 12小時前
The lob
THE JAM
层主抛出空接，楼上完成暴扣！
[–]KingsYSLug 1389 指標 15小時前
am I on The Onion??
我这是在看洋葱新闻吗？？
[–]Celticsjaeraket 325 指標 13小時前
r/nottheonion
#这还真不是洋葱新闻。
[–]Agent641 114 指標 9小時前
One day The Onion is going to stop writing satire and instead write real news and nobodys going to notice the difference.
如果有一天洋葱新闻不写反讽的新闻转而写真实的报道，估计也没有人会注意到有什么不同。
[–][TOR] Jonas ValanciunasDragonsandman 80 指標 9小時前
I thought we reached that point about two years ago.
不是两年前就已经达到这个阶段了吗？
[–]Calvin--Hobbes 99 指標 8小時前
"President Donald Trump defends Supreme Court nominee against multiple sexual assault allegations; while Bill Cosby gets hot dog bun thrown at him in prison"
“唐纳德-特朗普总统为最高法院提名进行辩护，反对针对该提名法官的多项性侵犯指控；同时，比尔-克斯比（因性侵犯）进了监狱，被人扔热狗。”
谁能想到这都是真事儿？
[–]Hornetsmajavic 3384 指標 13小時前
Rahim was quoted as saying, "Sure we flew some planes into buildings, but what LeBron did was unforgivable. Even Bin Laden wouldn't have done that to the city of Cleveland."
该基地组织成员表示：“没错，我们的确开飞机撞了大楼，但詹姆斯做的事是不可饶恕的！即使是本-拉登都不忍心对克利夫兰做出这样的事！”手动滑稽。
[–]radioraheem8 1081 指標 12小時前
Bin Laden would have chosen to live out the remainder of his life in a cave rather than spend a day in the city of Cleveland.
本-拉登宁愿余生都住在山洞里也不想在克利夫兰待哪怕一天。
[–]Cavaliersim_spezcial 360 指標 12小時前
He was just jealous of our fire river
骑士球迷：本-拉登只是嫉妒我克村的火河而已！[译注1]
[译注1]：指克利夫兰的凯霍加河，曾因工业污染过于严重而燃起了熊熊大火。
[–]Pacersnormcore_ 216 指標 12小時前
If they’d crashed two jets into Cleveland it would have taken the government weeks to even find the wreckage.
“We’ve got it narrowed down to a 4 block radius”
如果这两架飞机撞的是克里夫兰，估计政府得找到飞机残骸都得花好几周时间。
“我们已经将范围缩小到4个街区的半径了。”
[–]-Valar-Morghulis- 171 指標 11小時前*
Overheard in Iraq after 9/11: “He got me,” Hussein said of Osama's terrorist act. "That f***ing bin Laden boomed America." Saddam added, “He’s so bad,” repeating it four times. Saddam then said he wanted to add bin laden to the list of terrorists he has sex
9-11之后，萨达姆在伊拉克大喊“他逮住我了”，指本-拉登的恐怖袭击。“MLGB本-拉登咣叽给美国炸了一下。”萨达姆补充道，“他太坏了，”萨达姆重复说了四遍。后来，萨达姆表示，他想把本-拉登加到他想日的恐怖分子名单中。
[–]DonsAVeryBrightMan 562 指標 16小時前
Boomed his ass
咣叽就给他炸了一下！
[–]klawhileonard 288 指標 15小時前
He’s so terrorizing
他太恐怖了！
[–]Spurscamfa 142 指標 15小時前
X4
重复四遍。
[–]BullsTundraaa 163 指標 13小時前
C4
炸了四遍。
[–]jaredpls 93 指標 14小時前
He then said he wanted to add Rahim to the list of terrorists he blocks from flying this summer.
后来，萨达姆表示，他想把Rahim（该基地组织成员）加到这个夏天禁飞的名单中。
[–]PelicansChrisTheMiss 985 指標 15小時前
this is the funniest *ucfk**ing thing i’ve read all month. wonder if ISIS ever sent KD letters
这是我本月看到最特么逗的东西。我很好奇ISIS有没有给杜兰特写过信。
[–]CelticsMaxidaz 419 指標 14小時前
“We will behead a Canadian Journalist if you resign with the Warriors this offseason”
“如果你与勇士续约，我们就砍掉一个加拿大记者的头。”
[–]PelicansGot_Twist 44 指標 13小時前
you know. what would happen if that actually became a real life scenario?
如果这个剧本在现实生活中真的发生了会怎样啊。
[–][LAC] Austin Riversazharsafa123 1944 指標 16小時前
wow... TIL
湖人球迷：哇哦……我今天才知道有这事儿。
[–]CelticsBrassTaxWax 1529 指標 13小時前
Now I’m imagining Al-Qaeda having in-depth basketball discussions with advanced stats and game tape.
凯尔特人球迷：现在，我正在脑补基地组织各成员们拿着高阶数据和比赛录像深度探讨篮球的画面。
[–]SpursSmokeyBare 433 指標 13小時前
With the Globetrotters theme song playing in the background
背景音乐放着哈林篮球队的主题曲。
[–]PistonsSheedWallace 250 指標 11小時前
Haha people think these dudes just sat in caves and beat off to murder porn, but there are some books that go into depth about what they were up to day to day and they were a bunch of nerds basically. Al Qaeda had assigned volleyball teams because Usama and one of his deputies were both so tall the other dudes thought it was unfair so they could never play on the same side. And they played playstation and watched Friends and shit haha.
哈哈哈，人们总是觉得基地组织成员就是成天坐在山洞里对着杀人的*力暴**电影撸管，但是，实际上，有许多书都深入介绍了他们每天都干啥，而他们真的是一群呆子。基地组织内部甚至还会组建排球队，但拉登和他的一个副手都太高了，其他人都觉得他俩在一队太欺负人，所以一直都不准他俩在一队。他们还玩索尼的PS游戏机，看《老友记》什么的哈哈哈。
Basically I could totally see a couple of them getting into heated talks about whether or not Carmelo is overrated and if KD is a traitor for dippin' on OKC for the Warriors.
我真的能脑补出他们激烈讨论甜瓜是否被高估、离开雷霆加入勇士的杜兰特到底是不是叛徒的画面。
[–]l33tb3rt 151 指標 11小時前
Oh totally. We tell these stories because we don't want to humanize them, and we also want to pretend like planning a terrorist attack takes a long time. They are people too, who also have 24 hours in a day to fill, and planning a terrorist attack doesn't consume all that much time. But they are people too. I mean, heck, in WWI both sides stopped mustard gassing themselves long enough to play soccer on xmas.
绝对的。我们都愿意把恐怖分子们描述成住在山洞的野人是因为我们不想看到他们人性的一面，而且我们还装得好像谋划一次恐怖袭击需要很长的时间。他们也是人，他们也得打发每天24小时的时间，而且策划恐怖袭击不太需要那么多时间。但他们也是人。一战的时候，作战双方甚至都会在一段时间内停止释放毒气，让大家能在圣诞节时踢会儿足球。
But thinking about them watching Friends makes me chuckle. Now I wish UBL would have put out a video issuing a fatwah against Ross for his indecision, and ultimately manipulating, Rachel.
但想象他们看《老友记》的画面真是让我不由笑出了声了。我多希望拉登还活着的时候能放出一段视频，因Ross的优柔寡断而对他做出裁决，然后再*脑洗**Rachel。
[–]Heatyurtyybomb 115 指標 11小時前
planning a terrorist attack doesn't consume all that much time
FBI, u seein this?
“策划恐怖袭击不太需要那么多时间”
FBI看到了吗？就是他！
[–][OKC] Steven AdamsFeskir 91 指標 12小時前
giving a whole new meaning to "Player X explodes for 26 points!!"
赐予“某球员【爆】砍得到26分”这一说法全新的含义。
[–]Spurs4675029 69 指標 11小時前
Osama would have been a beast on the bball court. Dude was like 6'6.
拉登在球场绝对是个怪物。他大概有1米98吧。
[–]Grizzliesthelasthendrix 231 指標 11小時前
Especially effective against the '86 Rockets and the '99 Spurs.
而且要是对上86的火箭和99年的马刺，拉登绝对牛批。
[–][SAS] Tim Duncanyoure_being_creepy 39 指標 11小時前
I don't get it?
马刺球迷：我没懂？
[–]76ersNoellesGirl 166 指標 11小時前
Twin towers
86年的火箭和99年的马刺都有双塔啊。拉登还不得咣叽给他们炸一下。
[–]Clippersduplicatesnowflake 180 指標 16小時前
Guy is plotting his way out as we speak to get at KD.
这哥们此时正在谋划越狱，就是为了能再埋汰杜兰特一下。
[–]Knickshwarang_ 80 指標 15小時前
كتابي القادم الفصل
[–]Rocketsaboooz 34 指標 10小時前
Lool I get what you are trying to say (I'm Arab). But it's a bit off. What you said is "my next book the chapter". The fully correct translation is فصلي القادم.
哈哈哈哈哈我知道你想说啥（我是阿拉伯人）。但有一点差错。你说的是“我下一本书一章”（杜兰特加盟勇士the next chapter的梗，楼上的网友应当是谷歌翻译）。完全正确的翻译版本应该是：فصلي القادم（我的下一章）.
[–]WarriorsTheDiddleMan 150 指標 14小時前
American news conditioned me to get scared everytime I see this written language.
勇士球迷：美国新闻媒体搞得我每次看到这种手写语言（阿拉伯文）都会害怕。
[–]samuraipolice 198 指標 14小時前
I think of insta thots comments whenever I see it
我每次看到阿拉伯文时，都会想起ins网红嫩模照片底下的评论（很多阿拉伯人）。
[–]RaptorsFudgicles1 116 指標 14小時前
A man of culture I see.
楼上的老哥很有品味嘛。
[–]Raptorspleasefeedthedino 545 指標 15小時前
Makes sense, terrorists are always thinking about goats
有道理啊，恐怖分子总是想着羊。[译注2]
[译注2]美国一直有笑话说中东人（尤其是阿拉伯地区）会干羊（就是那个【干】羊，没错），而同时，goat也是greatest of all time的缩写，即历史最佳。这里的网友玩了双关。
[–]klawhileonard 337 指標 15小時前
Lebron James is beside himself. Driving thru downtown Pakistan desert begging (thru invasions) Al Qaeda for address to translators apology
詹姆斯已经失了智，在巴基斯坦市中心的沙漠开车乱转（通过侵略）向基地组织乞求该翻译的地址，要求他道歉。[译注3]
[译注3]：改编自一则假新闻。小乔丹毁约重新签约快船后，有报道称“库班失了心，在休斯敦市中心街头开车乱转，通过短信询问小乔丹的住址。”
[–][BOS] Luigi Datometonyhawk8 223 指標 14小時前
LeBron to Al Qaeda would have been a riskier move
凯尔特人球迷：詹姆斯要是当年加盟了基地组织，那绝对是一步险棋啊。
[–][MIA] Goran DragicJimboJoJo 126 指標 13小時前
IDK I would bet with Al Qaeda's help he would become even more explosive.
热火球迷：不好说啊，我敢打赌，在基地组织的帮助下，詹姆斯的表现肯定会更“爆炸”。
[–]LakersTuneHD 66 指標 12小時前
I mean if you really think about it, it makes sense. You have to have an insane amount of loyalty to be a terrorist usually, so it makes sense they'd view people who break that loyalty as awful.
湖人球迷：主楼这则新闻仔细想想还是挺有道理的。想成为一名恐怖分子，你必须有近乎疯狂的忠诚感，所以他们的确会将违背忠诚的人视作垃圾。