What Children Can Do:

• A wise line of defense is avoidance. Know when to walk away. It is thoroughly adaptive behavior to avoid a bully. Being picked on is not character-building.
• Use humor to defuse a bully who may be about to attack. Make a joke: "Look, Johnny, lay off. I don't want you to be late for school."
• Or tell the bully assertively, "Get a life. Leave me alone." And walk away. This may be the best defense for girls.
• Recruit a friend. Observers find that having a friend on the playground is one of the most powerful protectives, especially for boys.
• In general, seek out the friendly children and build friendships with them.

儿童可以做什么：

• 明智的防线是回避。知道什么时候离开。避免被欺凌是一种适应*行为性**，被人捉弄也不是性格培养。
• 用幽默来化解可能要攻击的恶霸。开个玩笑：“听着，约翰尼，停下来。我不希望你上学迟到。”
• 或者自信地告诉欺凌者，“去生活吧，少管我。”然后走开。这可能是女孩最好的防御。
• 招募一个朋友。观察家发现，在操场上有一个朋友是最有力的保护措施之一，尤其是对男孩而言。
• 总的来说，寻找友好的孩子并与他们建立友谊。

What Parents Can Do:

• See that your child has a grounding in assertive behavior. The real first line of defense against a bully is self-confidence.
• Spread the word that bullying is bad for bullies.
• Ask your children how peers treat them. Children often are ashamed to bring up the subject. Parents must.
• Enroll your child in a social-skills group where children learn and practice skills in different situations.
• Model good relationships at home. Help siblings get along.
• 确保你的孩子有自信行为的基础。对付恃强凌弱者的第一道防线是自信。
• 传播欺凌对欺凌者有害的信息。
• 问问你的孩子同龄人如何对待他们。孩子们常常羞于提起这个话题。父母必须这样做。
• 让您的孩子加入社交技能小组，让孩子在不同的情况下学习和练习技能。
• 在家建立良好的人际关系。帮助兄弟姐妹相处。

• Increase the social opportunities of all kids, but especially victimized ones. Invite other children, and groups of children, over to the house. Encourage sleepovers. This is your job; parents are social engineers.
• Enroll your child in classes or groups that develop competencies in activities that are valued by peers. Even kids who don't love sports may like karate, tae kwon do, and similar activities.
• Shut off the TV: much programming reinforces the idea that aggression is the only way to deal with conflicts.
• Empathy helps. Instill in all kids a sense of the distress that a victim experiences.
• Help your child come up with a set of clever verbal comebacks to be used in the event of victimization by verbally abusive peers.
• 增加所有儿童的社交机会，尤其是受害儿童。邀请其他孩子到家里来，鼓励过夜。这是你的工作；父母是社会工程师。
• 让您的孩子参加课程或小组，培养孩子在被同伴重视的活动中的能力。即使是不喜欢运动的孩子也可能喜欢空手道、跆拳道和类似的活动。
• 关掉电视：许多节目强化了侵略是处理冲突的唯一方式的观点。
• 培养同理心。向所有孩子灌输受害者所经历的痛苦感。
• 帮助你的孩子想出一套巧妙的语言复述，以便在受到言语虐待的同伴的伤害时使用。

• See that kids in groups have plenty of things to do. Provide play materials. Buy a soccer ball. Paint a hopscotch pattern on the sidewalk. Bullying flourishes when kids are together and have nothing else to do.
• Do not tell or teach a kid to fight back. Fighting back is the worst defense. In most instances, victimized children really are weaker and smaller than the bully—thus their fears of losing there fights may be quite real. Besides, not all bullying takes the form of physical aggression. Counter-aggression to any form of bullying actually increases the likelihood of continued victimization.
• 注意小组里的孩子必须有事可做。家长可以提供游戏材料，例如买一个足球。在人行道上画一个跳房子游戏的图案。当孩子们在一起无所事事时，欺凌行为就会盛行。
• 不要告诉或教孩子反击。反击是最糟糕的防御。在大多数情况下，受害儿童确实比欺凌者弱小，因此他们对输掉打架的恐惧可能是真实存在的。此外，并非所有的欺凌行为都是以身体攻击的形式发生的。对任何形式的欺凌进行反击实际上都会增加持续受害的可能性。

• Do not expect kids to work it out on their own. Bullying is not a simply a problem of individuals. Given the influence of the peer groups and reputational factors in maintaining the behavior of bullies and victims, it is extremely unrealistic to expect kids to alter the dynamics of bullying by themselves.
• Always intervene. Adults have a crucial role to play in the socialization of children. And consistency counts. Any time adults do not intervene they are essentially training others to solve problems through aggression.
• Intervene at the level of the group. Let all kids know bullying is not OK. Declare emphatically: "This is not acceptable behavior. You can't do this here."
• 不要指望孩子们自己解决问题。欺凌不仅仅是个人的问题。鉴于同龄人压力和声誉因素在维持欺凌者和受害者行为方面的影响，期望孩子们自己改变欺凌的状态是极不现实的。
• 父母一定要干预。成年人在儿童的社会化过程中起着至关重要的作用。而且一致性很重要。任何时候，父母或成年人不干预，本质上就是在放纵孩子通过攻击解决问题。
• 在小组层面进行干预。让所有的孩子都知道欺凌是不好的。强调声明：“这是不可接受的行为。你不能在这里这样做。”

• Talk to your child's teachers to find out what is normal behavior for children of that age group and to find out what the class atmosphere is like.
• Talk to other parents; where there's one victimized child there are likely to be others.
• Get the school involved. At the very least, ask that the school declare bullying off-limits. A change in the atmosphere of the school is not only possible, but helpful in reducing bullying.
• 与孩子的老师交谈，了解该年龄段孩子的正常行为，了解课堂气氛。
• 与其他家长交谈；有一个受害儿童的地方，很可能还有其他受害儿童。
• 让学校参与进来。至少，要求学校宣布禁止恃强凌弱。改变学校的氛围不仅是可能的，而且有助于减少欺凌行为。

• Go to the school administration and demand that bullies be transferred to other classes or schools. Every child has the right to a safe school environment.
• If all else fails, see that your child is transferred to another school. The same child may thrive in a different school with a group of children having different values.
• 去找学校管理部门，要求将欺负者转移到其他班级或学校。每个儿童都有权享有安全的学校环境。
• 如果所有这些都失败了，请确保您的孩子被转到另一所学校。同一个孩子可能在不同的学校茁壮成长，一群孩子有不同的价值观。