Spiders are horrible, eight-legged, bazillion-eyed creatures of human nightmares.
蜘蛛，人类梦魇中恐怖的多眼八只脚生物。
If you like spiders, you've forgotten that they tried to eat Frodo AND Harry Potter.
如果你喜欢蜘蛛，想必你是忘了它们曾经试图吃掉佛罗多和哈利波特。
And yet, scientists insist upon telling us that spiders are just misunderstood.
话虽如此，科学家却一直说蜘蛛只是被误会了。
Here's why you shouldn't kill spiders in your house.
以下几个理由要告诉你为什么不该杀了家里的蜘蛛。
Spiders: Pest control for free.
蜘蛛：免费帮你解决害虫。
According to Science Daily, spiders consume between 400 million and 800 million tons of insects every single year.
根据 Science Daily，蜘蛛每年平均会吃掉 4 亿至 8 亿吨的昆虫。
They eat flies, earwigs, cockroaches, and those obnoxious moths that leave holes in your sweaters.
他们会吃苍蝇、蠼螋、蟑螂，还有那些在你的毛衣上咬洞的讨厌蛀虫。
But scientists say you shouldn't kill that terrifying eight-legged thing climbing all over your walls as you try to eat breakfast.
但科学家说，你不该在你吃早餐时杀死那些爬满你墙壁的八脚小怪兽。
"Why on Earth not?" you're probably wondering.
「为什么不要？」你或许在这样想。
Well, it's because spiders do a great job at controlling pests.
是这样的，蜘蛛在控制害虫方面有很大的功劳。
Thanks so much, you helpful, totally horrific thing!
多谢啦！恐怖死的小帮手！
They don't want to hurt you.
它们不想伤害你。
Prepare to have your world shattered: Spiders aren't actually all that aggressive with humans.
准备好接受震撼：蜘蛛对人类其实并无恶意。
In fact, they tend to avoid people, so it's unlikely you'll ever meet the majority of spiders that lurk inside your home.
事实上，它们往往会避开人类，所以你不太可能会遇到绝大多数家中潜伏的蜘蛛。
That was intended to be a comforting thought.
我们这样说是为了让你安心。
We swear.
真的！
"Do it!"
「动手！」
Sure, the Sydney Funnel Web spider has been known to attack people… and its fangs are sharp enough to cut through leather.
是没错，雪梨漏斗网蜘蛛会攻击人类 ... 而且它们的獠牙尖锐到可以刺穿皮革。
But if you don't live in Australia, you almost definitely have nothing to worry about.
但如果你不是住在澳洲，你几乎没有什么好担心的。
We said almost.
我们是说几乎。
Fearing spiders is silly.
害怕蜘蛛是很傻的事。
In a 2014 Wired article entitled "I promise: spiders are not trying to kill you," entomologist Gwen Pearson suggests our fear of spiders is irrational.
在 2004 年，《连线》杂志一篇叫做 <我保证：蜘蛛不会想杀你> 的文章中，昆虫学家 Gwen Pearson 表示，我们对于蜘蛛的恐惧是不理性的。
Your mind tends to exaggerate the size, speed, and intentions of things you're afraid of.
针对你害怕的事物，你的心智往往会夸饰它的大小、速度和意图。
So when you see a tiny spider, your brain might process it as a monstrous, twenty-ton killing machine.
所以当你看到一只小蜘蛛，你的大脑或许会将它视为一个重达 20 吨重的怪兽杀人机器。
In fact, your fear of spiders is a learned behavior.
事实上，你对于蜘蛛的恐惧是习得而来的行为。
You don't fear spiders because we're programmed to fear spiders.
并非我们天生注定要害怕蜘蛛，你才会怕它们。
You're afraid of spiders because your parents were terrified of them.
你之所以会怕蜘蛛，是因为你的双亲也很怕它们。
Basically, science is telling you to get over yourself because your fear of spiders is stupid.
基本上，科学家是在告诉你：省省吧，害怕蜘蛛很蠢诶。
Nice attitude, science.
态度真好啊，科学。
Spiders are clean.
蜘蛛很干净。
No, really.
真心不骗。
Spider webs might get messy, but arachnologists want you to know that spiders themselves are actually quite clean.
蜘蛛网可能看起来脏脏的，但是蜘蛛学家希望你知道蜘蛛本身是很干净的。
In fact, they even groom themselves, since any debris on their legs could cause them to get caught in their own webs.
实际上它们甚至会梳理自己，因为它们若是腿上有一点脏东西，就会被自己的网缠住。
Which would be embarrassing.
想想那一定很尴尬。
But spider bites can get infected, right?
但是被蜘蛛咬到会感染，对不对？
Well, according to Science Daily, bacterial infections from spider bites are quite uncommon.
根据 Science Daily，起因于蜘蛛咬伤的细菌感染非常少见。
Blame your doctor if your arm needs to be amputated because of that, quote, "spider bite."
「蜘蛛咬痕」说道：要是你因为这样就要被截止，怪你的医生去吧！
A recent study found that, out of 182 patients claiming to have spider bites, only about 4 percent actually did.
最近一项研究发现，在 182 名声称被蜘蛛咬了的病患中，只有大约 4% 是真的被咬了。
Most of the other patients had skin infections.
其他大多数病患只是皮肤传染病。
"Be afraid. Be very afraid. Everything about you is changing."
「恐惧吧！深深地恐惧吧！与你有关的一切都在改变。」
Don't just take them outside.
不要只是将它们带出门外。
Before you take that spider outside, totally secure in the knowledge that you're doing Mother Nature a solid... consider this.
在你把那只蜘蛛拿出去前，先确定你是真的在帮它一把 ... 想想这点。
There are some species of spider that actually evolved to live inside, and they won't survive in the great outdoors.
有一些品种的蜘蛛其实是演化来生存于室内的，它们在外头的大自然中无法生存。
Of course, many species positively thrive outside.
当然，有一些品种在外面活得可好了。
“Arania Exumai!”
「蜘蛛退散！」
“Go!”
「快走！」
According to Mother Nature News, about 95 percent of the spiders you find in your house didn't wind up there by accident.
根据大自然新闻网，在家里出现的蜘蛛中有 95 % 是本来就在那里的。
They were born and raised in your home, and they've never been outside at all.
它们在你的家中出生长大，从未到过外面的大自然。
In other words, that spider you just scooped up in newspaper and gently released on your porch doesn't have much of a chance at survival.
换句话说，你刚刚用报纸卷起来然后轻轻地放在你大门外的蜘蛛，不太有可能活下来。
Now who's the monster?
现在谁才是怪兽啦？
"Can you check under my bed?"
「你可以检查我的床底吗？」
"You were just having a bad dream."
「你只是做了个恶梦。」
You're fighting a losing battle.
你打不赢的。
Now we come to the final reason you shouldn't eradicate the spiders in your house: like a bug caught in a spider's web, you're fighting a losing battle.
现在我们来到最后一个为什么不该消灭家中蜘蛛的理由：就好比困在蜘蛛网中的虫，你注定要打场败仗。
According to the Sydney Morning Herald, the goal is, quote, "pest control, not pest eradication."
根据《雪梨晨锋报》，目的在于「控管害虫，而非扑杀害虫。」
Whether you stomp them, spray them, or wash them down the sink… they'll just keep coming back.
不论你是用脚踩踏、用喷雾伺候或是把它们冲下水槽 ... 它们就是会一再卷土重来。
But perhaps you'll take comfort in this little fact: You're not alone.
但或许你听了这个小事实会有点安慰：你并非孤军奋战。
A 2016 survey of 50 homes in North Carolina found that every single one of them contained spiders.
2006 年，一项在北卡罗莱纳州针对 50 个住家的调查发现，这些家中每一个都有蜘蛛。
The average home reportedly hosted around 100 different species of arthropod, the group that includes both spiders and insects.
据称平均每个住家住有 100 种不同的节肢动物，也就是包含了蜘蛛和昆虫。
Surely all those spiders hiding in every dark corner of your home must be doing something positive, right?
当然啦，这些藏在你家黑暗角落的蜘蛛一定会带来正面影响，对吧？
For now, let's listen to the entomologists… until they start telling us we should start letting cockroaches live in our homes, too.
就目前为止，我们暂且听从昆虫学家的话 ... 直到哪天他们说应该也让蟑螂住进我们家时，再另当别论。
"I hope you die!"
「我希望你不得好死！」