[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are at work.]
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd. 我为何要让他们见他?我带他回去后五分钟 他们便蜂拥而上 他们就像郊狼一样 找弱者下手
Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you. 不愉快的场面我见多了 告诉你 这并不是一件坏事 他们是你的朋友 他们只是关心你
Monica: I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked.我知道 我只希望带一个 他们真正喜欢的男人回家
Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy.. 你知道如果他们没见过他 机会就更渺茫
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony（阳台）, Phoebe is absent.]
Joey: Let it go, Ross. 罗斯,别再想了!
Ross: Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi. 你又不认识芝芝.
Monica: Do you all promise?
All: Yeah! We promise! We'll be good! 对，我们保证 我们会很乖的
Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good? 钱德，你保证会很乖?
(Chandler makes a 'Cross my heart' sign. It starts to rain and he taps on the window.)
Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside! 你可以进来了, 但你的滤嘴屁股朋友得呆在外面.
(Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)
(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)
Ross: Hey, Pheebs.
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone! 亲爱的巴菲小姐 谢谢你提醒我们的错误 我们已将五百元存人你的户头 造成不便之处请多包涵 请接受此足球电话…作为礼物 你们懂意思吗? 现在我多了一千元和一个足球电话
Rachel: What bank is this? 这是哪家银行?
(The intercom buzzes.)
Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?
Alan: (on the intercom) It's Alan.
Joey: (shouting to Chandler) Chandler! He's here! 钱德，他来了
(Chandler comes in, dripping wet.)
Monica: (to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me. 拜托，别乱来 记得你们有多么爱我
(She opens the door and Alan enters.)
Monica: Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan.
Alan: Hi.
All: Hi, Alan.
Alan: I've heard schho much about all you guyschh! 我对各位已如雷灌耳
(Everyone laughs.)
[Time lapse, Alan is leaving.]
Monica: (to Alan) Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to all) Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm? 谢谢，我明天再打电话给你 好了，开始攻击亚伦吧 谁先开始?
(Silence.)
Monica: C'mon!
Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him. 我来
我们从他一直...…抱歉，我办不到...
All: Loved him! Yeah! He's great! 我们爱他…他太棒了...
Monica: Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with? 等等，我们谈的是我约会的对象吗?
All: Yeah!
Rachel: And did you notice...? (She spreads her thumb and index finger.)
The Guys: (reluctantly) Yeah.
Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked. 知道他什么最棒吗?
他的微笑有点邪邪的
Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe! 对，就像是鞋里的男人
Ross: ...What shoe?
Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...' 童谣里的 有个驼背的人有着扭曲的微笑 他住在鞋子里，一阵子
(Dubious pause.)
Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick（尺码准绳） against which all future boyfriends will be measured. 我想亚伦将成为日后男友被丈量的标准
Rachel: What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it. 什么日后男友?不，我想他就是了
Monica: Really!
Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression) 光凭他学海滩游侠的样子我就想嫁给他了 “我要去参加派对”
Ross: You know what I like most about him, though? 知道我最喜欢他哪一点?
All: What?
Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself. 他改变我看待自己的方式
All: Yeah...
Commercial Break
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]
Monica: Hi.. how was the game?
Ross: Well..
All: WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!
Monica: Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible?
Joey: Alan.
Ross: He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-... 亚伦真是太不可思议了 他就像兔宝宝卡通里, 兔宝宝守每个位置 我们虽没有兔宝宝 但我们有一垒手亚伦、二垒手亚伦、三垒手亚伦...
Rachel: I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team. 他使我们形成一个团队
Chandler: Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about softball.. 对，我们让对手见识到什么叫垒球
Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes.. 没错 能问你们一个问题吗? 你是否曾感觉亚伦有时…
Ross: What?
Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan? 我说不上来，有点太亚伦了?
Rachel: Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan. 他不可能太过于亚伦
Ross: Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore. 没错我们欣赏的是亚伦的内在
Chandler: I personally could have a gallon of Alan. 我个人可以喝下一加仑的亚伦
[Scene: A street, Phoebe walks up to a homeless person (Lizzie) she knows.]
Phoebe: Hey, Lizzie.
Lizzie: Hey, Weird Girl. 嘿,古怪女孩
Phoebe: I brought you alphabet soup. 我带字母汤来给你
Lizzie: Did you pick out the vowels? 你挑掉有母音吗?
Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.) 但我把“Y”留下来了 因为有时你会用的上, 为什么(Why,音同Y) 我还带了其他东西给你
Lizzie: Saltines? 咸鱼吗?
Phoebe: No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone? 不, 但你想要一千元和足球电话吗?
Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here. 天啊，这里真的有钱
Phoebe: I know.
Lizzie: Weird Girl, what are you doing?
Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it. 我要给你，我不想要
Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something. 不，我得拿点东西给你
Phoebe: Oh, that's fine, no. 不，不用了
Lizzie: Would you like my tin-foil hat? 你要我的锡箔纸帽帽吗?
Phoebe: No. 'Cause you need that. No, it's okay, thanks.
Lizzie: Please, let me do something. 求你 让我表示我的谢意
Phoebe: Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay? 你请我喝汽水，我们就扯平了，好吗？
Lizzie: Okay.
Phoebe: Okay.