What is your embarrassing NBA fan moment?
分享下你作为NBA球迷所经历过的囧事吧！
13 years old
sitting near the floor by the tunnels at the forum circa 2009
We suck. We suck so mch. The team is so bad. Went 24-58 that season. We have young Mike Conley, Marc Gasol, Rudy Gay, Kyle Lowry, but we still suck
那年二零零九，我十三，
坐在灰熊主场前排，球员过道旁
我熊菜，我熊是真的菜。球队太烂了。那个赛季战绩是24胜58负。我们拥有年轻的迈克-康利，马克-加索尔，鲁迪-盖伊，凯尔-洛瑞，但是我们仍然很菜。
be 13 and mad at this sucking and not knowing how to deal with these feelings (not to mention other unrelated feelings)
game is a rout, we are down something like 15 (don't remember who, maybe Dallas?)
十三岁的我对球队菜成这样气不打一处来，不知道该如何处理这些情绪（更不用说其他跟篮球不相关的情绪了）。
比赛溃败，我们好像落后了有15分（不记得对手是谁了，可能是独行侠？）。
decide my time to spur my team to victory has come
stoppage of play happens at frustrating moment
decide to stand up and scream "SCORE SOMETHING!!!!" at the top of my lungs
that'll help
我决定做点什么来激励一下我熊去争取胜利。
死球恰好发生在最让人闹心的一刻。
我决定站起来，用尽我肺中的气力，大喊一声，“好歹得几分吧！！！！”
我心想，这该有点用了吧。
one of those weird moments where everything was quiet for a second, attendance is terrible anyway
my scream echoes across the fedex forum like a cactus rustling in the desert wind
有点像那种诡异的一刻，一切都安静了下来，不过那场观众本来也没什么热情。
我的尖叫在球馆不断地回响，就像仙人掌在沙漠风中窸窣作响。
Mike Conley deadass stops what he is doing for a split second and looks at me like i have just thrown shit onto the court in front of him
Grizz Girls who were standing in the tunnel literally start laughing and applauding me
family doesn't say anything
i'm sorry Mike
迈克-康利直接特么放下了手中的事，直勾勾的看着我，就像是我在他面前把一坨翔扔进了球场一样。
站在球员通道内的灰熊啦啦队姑娘们开始笑了起来，为我欢呼。
我的家人默不作声。
对不起，康利。
[–][DAL] Dirk NowitzkiSharpedd 939 指標 8小時前
i have a KG nets jersey
我有一件加内特的篮网球衣。
[–]CelticsThantos1 269 指標 7小時前
God that's way more embarrassing than the story
凯尔特人球迷：我的天啊，这比楼主的故事还要丢人啊。
[–]Celticsasdfasfhsdfgh 77 指標 5小時前
Someone out there has the Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Joe Johnson, Deron Williams collection of Nets jerseys.
凯尔特人球迷：这个世界上估计有人集齐了保罗-皮尔斯，凯文-加内特，乔-约翰逊，德隆-威廉姆斯的篮网球衣四件套。
[–]Pistonsthrowaway_5256 67 指標 6小時前
I recently learned that my brother has two Josh Smith Detroit jerseys if that makes you feel better
活塞球迷：我最近才知道我哥有两件约什-史密斯的活塞球衣，不知道这个能不能让你好受些。
[–]Lakershahagamer7 95 指標 6小時前*
Ouch.
I was wearing a golden state jersey shirt at the mosque while eating ice cream. A super religious lookin dude was handing out flyers. He spotted me and yelled from far "Hey!" he said. I looked at gim. "Dont choke on that ice cream like your team choked!" He finished his sentenced. There was nothing I could reply with.
This was a month after 2016 finals (the one where GS choked)
湖人球迷：唉，往事啊。
当时我在一座清真寺里，穿着勇士球衣吃冰激凌。一个看着非常虔诚的教徒在发传单。他看到了我，然后远远地喊了一声，“嗨！”我看着他，然后接着听他说，“别像你们球队那样被冰激凌呛着了！”他说完了，而我无言以对。
那会儿距离2016年总决赛结束刚过一个月（就是勇士掉链子的那一年）。[译注1]
[译注1]：“choke”既有“呛到”的意思，也有“掉链子”的意味。
[–]EricHangingOut 1127 指標 8小時前
I'm a sophomore in college. My roommate sets up some bullshit website and asks me to come up with a few articles about the Nuggets. I throw some random shit together and he publishes them. This is Fall of 2004, so relatively early days of the internet and fan interest, particularly Denver, wasn't exactly booming.
我那会儿大二。我室友瞎鼓捣了个网站，让我弄一些关于掘金的文章。我随便把一些有的没的内容攒在一块儿给了他，然后他发布了出去。那是2004年的秋天，互联网还处于早期发展阶段，所以球迷们网上冲浪兴致没那么高，但丹佛更是如此。
My roommate's shitty website is enough to get us Denver Nuggets media passes. So we drive down from Boulder, sit in the media box, and watch second-year LeBron put a *ucfk**ing whooping on Melo and the Nugs. Just looked up the box score, 92-73 Cavs.
不过我室友的垃圾网站已经足够让我们成为丹佛掘金队的合作媒体了。所以我们驾车从博尔德出发，坐在媒体包厢，现场目睹了二年级的詹姆斯狂虐安东尼和掘金。我写到这的时候刚查了下那场比分，骑士92比73赢了比赛。
So, we go into the locker room after the game and my roommate hands me a tape recorder that I don't even know how to use. I'm looking around and figure I should ask someone a question. I remember DerMarr Johnson wearing a huge fur coat that looked like it was made out of skunks.
所以，我们在赛后走进了更衣室，我室友给了我一个录音机，可我都不知道怎么使。我环顾了一圈，琢磨着我该找个人问个问题。我记得德马尔-约翰逊穿着个毛皮大衣，看着就像是拿臭鼬的皮做的。
I see Andre Miller in a towel, standing alone by his locker. He looks pretty pissed about the game. I walk over to him and ask if I can ask him some questions. He looks at me like what the *ucfk** is this dipshit doing in here, but he was cool and says fine.
我看到安德烈-米勒裹着毛巾，一个人站在他的更衣柜旁。他看起来对这场比赛非常恼火。我向他走去，问他我能不能问他一些问题。他看着我，好像在说“这蠢货在这儿TM弄啥嘞”，但是他人不错，说没问题。
I turn on my tape recorder and realize I have *ucfk**ing nothing to ask him. So, I stare at him blankly until I just blurt out, "you guys lost by a lot." And he was like, "yeah." And all I could think of saying was, "Is it harder to lose by a lot than if the game was close?" And he just shook his head and said, "losing is losing. It sucks." I nodded and walked away.
我打开我的录音机，然后意识到，我TM没啥要问他的啊。所以，我脑子一片空白地盯着他，然后蹦出了一句，“你们输得挺多的啊”。米勒则说，“是啊”。我脑子里能想到要说的就只有，“比起非常接近的比赛，一场大比分的失利是不是更让人难受？”他只是摇了摇头，说，“输球就是输球，很糟糕”。我点了点头，走开了。
I then saw LeBron in the tunnel. He was surrounded by about 20 reporters, so I walked right up and stuck my tape recorder in his face. I didn't have the balls to ask him if it was cooler to win by a lot than a little.
然后我在球员过道看到了詹姆斯。他被大概20多个记者围着，所以我往前挤，把录音机往前举贴着他的脸。我可没胆子问他大比分赢球是不是比险胜要更爽。
I then went back to Boulder and probably got shit-faced. I don't think I could come up with anything to write and the Nuggets pulled our media passes a couple weeks later.
之后我回到了博尔德，然后好像喝多了。我觉得自己啥都写不出来，几周之后，掘金就撤了我们的媒体通行证。
[–]Lakersape_cage 440 指標 7小時前
this is so *ucfk**ing funny lmao
哈哈哈哈哈哈这太TM搞笑了。
[–]EricHangingOut 143 指標 6小時前
Thanks! And in case anyone is interested, one of the articles I wrote was about how the Nuggets were big winners in free agency by signing K-mart to a huge, seven-year deal. I remember comparing it to the Mehmet Okur signing by the Jazz and referring to him as the "Turkish Mr. Big" (from Sex and the City). I was pretty stoked on that gem.
层主：谢谢捧场！如果有人感兴趣的话，我可以告诉你们我写的其中一篇文章是有关掘金运作的，说掘金靠着与肯扬-马丁签下的7年大合同成为了自由市场上的大赢家。我记得文章里把这笔操作和爵士签约梅米特-奥库进行了比较，还把奥库称作“土耳其的Mr. Big”（《欲望都市》中的人物）。我当时真的很喜欢马丁这笔签约。
[–]MetalHead310 233 指標 8小時前
Another one...snuck up to behind the Lakers bench in garbage time. I hated Greg Foster because he was a Jazz player who was now on my beloved Lakers.
I yelled "You suck Greg Foster! Go back to the Jazz!" from five feet away during a timeout so the entire Lakers team heard it.
我来一条……我在比赛垃圾时间的时候溜到了湖人替补席后面。我讨厌队中的格雷格-福斯特，他现在是在我心爱的湖人打球没错，可我讨厌他是因为他之前是名爵士球员。
在一次暂停期间，我在不到两米远的距离喊了一句，“格雷格-福斯特你真菜！滚回爵士去吧！”所以整个湖人替补席都听到了。
He immediately and sternly responded, "Then I'll come back and *ucfk** you guys up every year".....I was in shock and speechless. It was awesome
福斯特立刻坚决地回应道，“那我每年都会回来然后干爆你们的”……我震惊了，说不出话来。真是太厉害了。
[–]LakersYoonInPace 147 指標 7小時前
I've always had a deep connection with Trevor Ariza in my own crazy world - just like any other delusional fan thinking they have this deep two-way personal connection to someone they're a fan of. It was a preseason game Knicks @ Wizards ('13 or '14), sat courtside. He went to shoot around at halftime, so I thought, okay, this is TREVOR FUCKING ARIZA who used to play for the Lakers.
湖人球迷：在我自己的疯狂世界中，我一直和特雷沃-阿里扎有着深厚的联系——就像其他任何一个充满了幻想的粉丝一样，觉得自己和他们追随的明星之间有这种深厚的双向私人关系。那是场奇才主场对阵尼克斯的季前赛（13或者14赛季的），我坐在场边。阿里扎在半场的时候在做投篮练习，所以我当时就想，嗯，这就是那个TM曾经效力湖人的特，雷，沃，阿，里，扎啊。
So, I got up & yelled his name until I got his attention: "Trevor! Trevor! Trevorrr! Trevorrrrrr! Trevorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"
He looks at me with his "wtf?" face
And I waved to him like a little girl.
Never. Again.
所以，我站了起来，大喊他的名字直到引起了他的注意：“阿里扎！阿里扎！阿里扎~阿里扎啊啊！阿里扎里扎扎啊啊啊啊啊啊！”
他看着，一脸“TM搞啥呢”的表情。
然后我冲他挥手，就像个小姑娘一样。
我 再 也 不 会 这 样 了。
[–]Lakerssomecallmemo 383 指標 9小時前
I told Michael Jordan his drive went in the water after he hit it as he was walking back to his cart knowing damn well it was going straight into the water
我曾经在高尔夫球场告诉迈克尔-乔丹说“你这球要掉水里了”。那时乔丹刚完成一记挥杆，正走回他的球车，而且心里很明白那球要进水了。
[–][UTA] Ricky Rubiowordsandstuffs 74 指標 7小時前
Haha what are the full details of this? That's an incredible opening sentence. If a book started with that I would instantly buy that book.
哈哈，能不能讲一下这件事的全部细节啊？这真是句绝妙的开场白啊。要是哪本书以这句开头，那我会立刻买了它的。
[–]Lakerssomecallmemo 218 指標 7小時前
Haha well my dad played with him in Vegas and my sister and I rode in a cart along with them because who would pass up a chance to hang around MJ uninterrupted for 5 hours. My dad is a better golfer and MJ obviously loves gambling and hates losing as we all know. So my dad is giving him the business and we arrive at a long hole with water all along the left side with the green barely reachable beyond the water.
层主：哈哈，我爸在拉斯维加斯的时候跟他一块儿打过高尔夫，我姐和我在球车里坐着跟他们一起玩，因为谁会拒绝和乔丹一块儿玩儿5个小时还不被打扰的机会啊。我爸高尔夫打得更好一点，乔丹显然喜欢赌博讨厌失败，这个咱大家都知道。所以我爸一直在教乔丹做人，我们到了一个长距离的洞口，左侧被水面环绕，草地区在水域另一头，很难达到。
My dad hit his ball perfect rolling it up toward the green. MJ doesn't want to be outdone, tries to do the same. First ball, water. Second ball, water. Everyone is saying just lay up he says no and asks for the 3rd ball. He hits it and instantaneously turns around and starts walking back to the cart.
我爸完美的一杆，把球打向了草地区。乔丹不甘示弱，也想试着做到那样。第1球，掉水里了。第2球，掉水里了。每个人都在说算了吧，乔丹不的，非要打第3球。他完成了挥杆，然后直接转身开始走回球车上。
I was 9 and was trying to be helpful thinking he didn't know what the end result would be so I blurted out, " MJ, that one went in the water too!" My dad turned and GLARED at me and as MJ is walking by he just says, "I know somecallmemo" but shockingly not in a very angry tone, more just annoyed
那时我9岁，想要乐于助人下，我那时觉得乔丹不知道自己这杆结果如何，所以我张嘴就说，“乔丹，那个也掉进水里了！”我爸爸转过来，狠狠地瞪了我一眼。乔丹走过去的时候说，“我知道，有人给我打电话呢”。不过惊讶地是，那并不是个非常生气的语调，顶多就是有点儿烦了。
[–][UTA] Ricky Rubiowordsandstuffs 187 指標 7小時前
So how has life been since peaking at 9 years old?
所以在你9岁经历人生巅峰后，此后的人生怎么样呢？
[–]Lakerssomecallmemo 148 指標 7小時前
Rough. I was the bat boy for the Mariners the spring training before this happened and I was obsessed with Griffey and always gave him his bat and helmet before his at bat and at the end of the game he gave me his batting gloves. Real early peakage for me
层主：挺苦。这件事情之前，我在西雅图水手队的春季训练做球童，我非常痴迷肯-葛瑞菲，经常在轮到他击球的时候把他的球棒和头盔递给他，比赛结束后，他把他的击球手套给我。这对我而言才是我小时候真正的人生巅峰。
[–]drugaddict6969 233 指標 6小時前
Who tf is your dad lol
哈哈，你爸爸到底TM是谁啊。
[–]H20isLean 496 指標 9小時前
I used to think (when i was young and first got into the NBA) that every time they mentioned a vet player, he served in the Army lol. It took me a bit to realize they were league vets lmao, i am not a native speaker whichnwas my excuse...
我曾经以为（那时候我还小，第一次接触到NBA），每次大伙儿提到一名球员是个“老兵”，是因为这个球员曾经在部队服役过。哈哈哈哈，我过了一段时间才知道这是指他们是联盟中的老将，英语不是我的母语，所以还算情有可原吧……
[–]Lakersape_cage 124 指標 7小時前
thats a valid excuse, even if you were a native english speaker but had no experience with sports that might be legitimate confusion for a minute
非常情有可原，哪怕一个人的母语是英语，但是要是他对体育没有一点儿接触的话，他可能也会完全懵逼一下的。
[–]76ershot_new_ISH 106 指標 7小時前
Huh? No that's true, that's why all rookies sit out for a year, for their mandatory military service right?
76人球迷：啥？误解？不是啊，层主之前理解的没毛病啊，要不然为啥所有新秀首年都要休战啊，难道不是在服强制军役么？
[–]RaptorsSpike_der_Spiegel 44 指標 6小時前
And it's why so many of them come back injured
就是因为服军役，所以那么多新秀复出的时候才会身上有伤的。
[–]SunsSwitchola 47 指標 6小時前
And that's why some come back with PTSD, like Jahlil Okafor.
怪不得有的球员复出的时候会带着心理创伤后遗症呢，比如贾利尔-奥卡福。
[–][MIA] Shane BattierSpotLightGuy 276 指標 8小時前
Context: Grew up in Southern Cali in the 80's. Needless to say, I didn't pray to God, I had Magic Johnson for such things...
背景：我在80年代的南加州长大。不用我多说了吧，我不信上帝，因为我的上帝是魔术师约翰逊。
Fast forward 10 years later...I'm in High School and helping on a film shoot for an event that Magic is speaking at. The entire day I'm telling every one who'll listen that I'm going to finagle my way into meeting Magic, and when I do I'm going to be so smooth and charming that he will be a mentor of mine and we'll be best buddies, go on family trips together...all that.
让我们快进到10年后吧……我在上高中，帮忙录制一个现场，魔术师会在那个活动中发言。一整天，我逢人就说我要见到魔术师啦（前提是得他们得乐意听我倾诉），我见他的时候会非常优雅和蔼，富有魅力，他会成为我的良师益友，我们会成为最好的朋友，一起去家庭旅行……之类的吧。
(I'm sure you see where this is going)
We're on location and since it's a little early, me and my buddies are standing around, talking and I'm still going on about how Magic's going to be best man at my future wedding or some shit like that.
Then, out of nowhere, I turned to my left and was face to torso with the Magic man himself.
（我相信你们已经猜到了事情的走向了）
我们到了预定的地方，因为到的时候有点早，我和我的伙伴在那儿闲等着聊天，我还在继续滔滔不绝，说魔术师会在我未来的婚礼上当伴郎，还有一些有的没的。
然后，不知怎么的，我向左转了个身，结果魔术师本尊就在我面前。
OMG.
In that instant it felt like every single human within a mile was looking dead at me and watching for how I was about to charm the pants off the most charming person to ever live...
我，滴，妈，呀！
那一刻的感觉，就好像1千多米范围内的每个人都在死死地盯着我看，看看我要怎么把史上最有魅力的人迷个神魂颠倒。
Welp, I started hyperventilating. I don't remember exactly what I said but the way it came out was:
OHMYGODMAGICILOVEYOUSOMUCHIWATCHEDYOUONPRIMETICKETWITHMYDADANDCHICKHEARNJELLOJIGGLINGTHEFORUMWITHLAKERGIRLSVLADEDIVACYOURETHEGREATESTICRIEDWHENYOURETIRED-
结果，我开始深呼吸。我不太记得我具体说了些什么，但是效果大概是：
我的天啊！！！魔术师！！！我特别特别爱你！！！我跟我爸在Fox Sports上看你的比赛！！！还有奇克-赫恩的标志性解说，“果冻开始摇晃啦！”有湖人女郎的论坛球馆！！！！弗拉德-迪瓦茨！！！你是历史第一人！！！！你退役的时候我都哭了！！！！
A complete mess.
Sensing that I was drowning in a pool of uselessness, Magic flashed this huge smile at me, grabbed my hand to shake it and simply said "Alright."
Then he disappeared into thin air. Or at least that's how I remember it.
全乱了，整个晋西北都乱成一锅粥了。
那感觉就好像我在一个废弃的泳池里溺水挣扎。魔术师冲我回以一个大大的微笑，握了握我的手，说，“好的好的”。
然后他便消失在空气中。至少我印象里是这样的。
Once he was gone I was expecting everyone to give me shit about how terribly I just handled the situation but oddly enough no one ever said another word about it. They probably felt sorry for me. I appreciate their pity.
在他离开的时候，我以为大伙儿会嘲讽我，说我这个情形处理得有多差，但是奇怪的是，从没有人提起过这件事。可能他们在为我可惜吧。我很感激他们的这份同情。
[–]Lakersape_cage 135 指標 7小時前
i have legit never heard a story where magic was even remotely rude to a fan, that dude oozes charisma
湖人球迷：我从来没听说过魔术师对球迷有哪怕一点点的粗鲁，他真的太有魅力了。
[–][HOU] Clint CapelaGettingLostInDaSauce 181 指標 8小時前*
be me in Lids shop (hat store)
See Donatas Montieunas
A bunch of people taking pics with him, looks kind of annoyed
Wait for them to leave
Go up and "I would ask for autograph but I don't have anything to sign
He goes and buys a rockets hat
火箭球迷：我的话呢，当时是在Lids的店里（这是一家帽子店），
看到了多纳塔斯-莫蒂埃尤纳斯。
好多人在跟他合照，他看上去有点儿不耐烦了。
等围观的人离开了，
我走了上去，说，“我本来想要个签名，但是我手头没有东西让你签”。
他去买了顶火箭的帽子。
I thought he was going to buy it, sign it and give it to me
Puts the hat on
signs his autograph on the receipt
walks out
I miss you D-Mo :(
我以为他要买了帽子，在上面签名，把它给我。
结果他戴上帽子，
在买帽子的收据上签了名，
然后走出了商店。
我想你了，莫泰。
[–][BOS] Brian Scalabrineairmagswag 427 指標 10小時前
Game 2 this last year against the sixers when we were down 22 I screamed "YOURE BETTER THEN THIS" and I was 4 rows from the court and the Celtics bench looked at me and I sulked into my seat
凯尔特人球迷：上赛季对阵76人的系列赛第2场，当时我们落后22分，我吼了一句，“你们不止于此吧！”，我坐在第4排，凯尔特人板凳席都回头看我……我恨不得找个地缝钻进去。
[–][TOR] Bismack Biyombobrownjesus__ 196 指標 8小時前
Hold on didn't you guys win that game though? You musta spurred them to victory.
不是你等会儿，不过那场比赛你凯是不是赢了啊？你肯定是鼓舞到了他们才让他们取得了胜利！
[–][BOS] Brian Scalabrineairmagswag 387 指標 8小時前
I saw brad Stevens look into my eyes and suddenly I had images of after timeout plays and white boards and film from far before I was born. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I think his kind was trying to communicate with me
凯尔特人球迷：当时我看到布拉德-史蒂文斯在看着我的眼睛，突然，我的眼前闪过了暂停后球队运行的战术，白色的战术板，还有在我出生之前、距离久远的影像。这都是我之前从没体验过的。我觉得史蒂文斯好像是在试着与我深交吧！
[–]jrase13 114 指標 7小時前
Went to a Cavs game in Cleveland last year. First time ever in Cleveland. Absolutely in love with Lebron James. I decide to get to the game early to walk around and see the arena. Two promo girls come up to me to ask if I would partake in a contest. Basically all I do is go on the floor after the first timeout in the 1Q and play the price is right. Every time I get one right I get to move closer to the goal to shoot my shot.
我上赛季去克利夫兰现场看了场骑士的比赛。那是我第一次去克利夫兰。我特别特别喜欢勒布朗-詹姆斯。我决定早点过去转一转，参观一下球馆。两个活动宣传的姑娘走了过来，问我要不要参加一个竞赛活动。我所要做的是，在第一节比赛的首次暂停时走上球场，去猜物品的价格。每猜对一次，我就能离球框更近一点，在最后的位置上去投篮。
Right before I go on the court, a promo guy tells me all the answers! I obviously fan girl walking out there since I'm on the same court as Lebron. My plan is to do the infamous Lebron Silencer after I make the shot considering I know all the answers and it's a layup. (I want to point out here now that I played college basketball only a short 2 years ago) I correctly answer all of the questions and I get the ball on the block and I'm allowed to shoot a layup. Ball goes up, hits the top of the square, front of the rim, and out... I was boo'ed off the court and they ended up giving me the $50 gift card out of pity...
就在我上场之前，活动方的一个小哥告诉了我所有答案！在被引领入场的时候我显然跟小粉丝一样开心，因为我可和詹姆斯一样站在同一块场地上呢。考虑到我知道所有的答案，那最后的投篮就是个上篮啊，所以我的计划是，在我进球后，做个詹姆斯那个著名的“消音器”庆祝动作（在这儿我想说明一下，仅仅两年前我还是大学校队一员呢）。
我所有问题都答对了，我在篮下拿到了球，他们允许我上篮完成投篮。球飞向空中，打在了篮板方框的上边沿，又打在了篮筐前沿，然后……掉到外面了……我迎着嘘声下场，最后他们给了我给了我50美元的礼品卡作为安慰奖……
Later on, they put a kid on the big screen that sat near me and he was dancing. The camera panned over onto me and I was boo'ed again. I have no excuses as to why I missed the layup, just one of those things. Sat in silence basically the rest of the night.
后来，有个小孩儿坐我附近，大屏幕捕捉到了这个小孩儿，然后他开始跳起舞来。摄像机镜头摇到了我这儿，我又被嘘了一次……错失了上篮这件事我没有任何借口，就是状态不好状态不好。那晚剩下的时间里，我基本上是安安静静地坐在那里的。