英汉翻译技巧与传神翻译欣赏(103)

(本讲座每周分享英语学习和英汉翻译的独有经验,欢迎关注和分享。)

引言

文学翻译贵在“传神”。所谓“传神”,就是把原文的意思表达得非常准确,意境展现得非常逼真、鲜活,让人读后产生一种拍案叫绝的冲动。 要实现这一目标,除了具备深厚的语言功底,学习和掌握一定的翻译技巧也是非常有益的。

怎样翻译下面的英语句子?怎样翻译才比较传神?

Dick's mouth fell open in surprise.

Something important had slipped through the cracks .

相关段落和背景信息:

在紧张的登月训练期间,登月舱雷达承制商邀请“阿波罗”10号宇航员吉恩·塞尔南去加勒比海的一个小岛上度几天假。以下是作者塞尔南的描述:

Even heading to the sunny island, the talk was about our Apollo 10 mission, scheduled to fly in only two months. I fell into conversation with Dick Iverson, the Ryan vice president in charge of designing the radar that would look for the lunar landing site. At a certain point in space, with the spacecraft oriented toward the Moon at a specific angle and altitude, the radar was to start scanning the surface and find the precise landing area. When we discussed the exact numbers, Dick's mouth fell open in surprise and he stammered, "But it's not designed to do that, Gene!" I stared back blankly. By sheer accident, our shop talk uncovered the fact that something important had slipped through the cracks . The computer software designers for the landing radar apparently had been working from an early version of the flight plan, and when the trajectory for our mission was refined, the changes somehow had not found their way back to Ryan.

难点分析和翻译技巧:

Dick's mouth fell open in surprise.

这个句子比较简练,这里的关键点在于对 Dick's mouth fell open in surprise 的传神展现。我们都知道这句话的意思是“迪克感到很吃惊,很意外”,但怎么生动形象地展现这个意思,就需要深厚的汉语功底了。如果译为“迪克吃惊地张大了嘴巴”,显然也是一句不错的翻译,但我们还能不能翻译得更生动些?

另外,在相关段落中, shop talk 是“专业或行业交流”“行话”的意思。

Something important had slipped through the cracks .

Slip through the cracks 是一个习惯用语,The Free Dictionary给出了如下释义:

To go unnoticed or undealt with; to be unintentionally neglected or ignored, especially in a corporate, political, or social system(没有注意或处理;不小心忽略或忽视了,特别指发生在企业或政治、社会体系中)

例句:With other issues like drug addiction and unemployment taking priority for the government, the welfare of children very often slips through the cracks .

试译:

即使在飞往这座明媚小岛的路上,谈论的话题依然是我们的“阿波罗”10号飞行任务,飞船将在两个月以内升空。我和瑞安公司的迪克·艾弗森聊了起来,他是分管雷达设计的副总裁,这种雷达用于搜寻登月着陆点。在太空的某个点,飞船以某个角度和高度面向月球,这部雷达开始扫描月球表面,并准确找到着陆区。当我们讨论确切的数字时, 迪克差点儿惊掉下巴 ,然后结结巴巴地说:“但雷达的设计可不是这样的,吉恩!”我茫然地看着他。纯粹出于偶然,我们针对工作的闲聊竟发现 一件重要的事情被忽略了 。着陆雷达的计算机软件设计师显然在使用飞行计划的早期版本,当任务的飞行轨迹改进后,这种变化不知什么原因没有返回到瑞安公司。

这里的“ 迪克差点儿惊掉下巴 ”就非常传神地展现了原文的意境。

下期预告:

怎样翻译下面的英语句子才比较传神?

The rocket had separated, but still tagged along like a personal satellite because of our matching velocities.

作者简介 :从事英汉口译和笔译38年(译审),出版译著6部;全国第一届和第二届“韩素音青年翻译奖”竞赛一等奖获得者;地道英语和传神翻译的倡导者和实践者。最新译著《我的两次月球之旅》由上海交通大学出版社出版;今年即将出版译著——《携火奔月》(上海交通大学出版社)。

英汉翻译技巧与传神翻译欣赏(103)

重温登月惊险之路

欣赏翻译传神之美

#翻译##英语##英专生##大有学问##头条创作挑战赛#