2018年9月北美SAT写作《Pre-K Education Is a Long-Term Winner》范文
（建议增加hook句）In Austan Goolsbee ’s essay “Pre-K Education Is a Long Term Winner”, he delivers a masterful dissertation that early education for kids is crucial.（文章主旨句概括不全） Goolsbee, like any writer,（删除模版成分） he employs credible evidence, effective structures and various reasons（技巧点不够具体） to plead with us to take his side.
Throughout his essay, the audiences definite will nodding along in accordance with him.（删除段落首句模版成分，增加段首总起句和引入句） In paragraph 3 and 5, Goolsbee uses “University of Chicago” and “2000 Nobel Laureate James Heckman” to augment the credibility of his claim（技巧点说明不规范，没有拿到得分点）, it also making his argument more professional and acceptable to the readers.（技巧特性分析建议放在读者角度分析之后，避免重复） By showing the reliable result, the author cites that “children who attend high-quality preschool programs learn better, behave better, live healthier and earn more for the rest of their lives”（技巧点说明不规范，不建议大段直接引用）. It conduct to erases any trace of suspicion from the audience, aiding in their realization that the author is not exaggerating the situation. To illustrate the benefits of early education, Goolsbee dexterous uses the speech from the president Obama in paragraph 9. “President Obama reiterated his plan for universal preschool” conductive the realization to the audience.（该技巧点没有展开说明，并且争端都在分析quotation，缺乏多样性）
Furthermore, Goolsbee uses tons of（语言不够客观） statistics and facts to compose a compelling and authoritative piece of writing for us. In paragraph 2, “in 2001, under the guise of saving money, have knocked as many as 70,000 kids out of such programs”. This astonishing result forces reader to recognize the critical natural of the education at hand and it effectively lends credibility to his subsequent point that pre-K education is significant.（不要只抛出观点，不进行解释） The author also exemplify that （如果段落切换，请注明，此处已切换至第七自然段）children who attending the early education are ”less likely to commit crimes; girls with high-quality pre-k are less likely to become young single mothers”.（技巧点说明不规范，不建议大段直接引用） These facts back up Goolsbee ’s claim that early education can help children avoid lots of abject things（语言不够具体）. Without these evidence, Goolsbee ‘s passage would not mean a crucial problem to us and he is handing the power of early education to the readers.（本句话表意不够清晰，缺乏读者角度的深入分析）（文章第二自然段分析了evidence，本段建议分析reasoning，而非重复evidence）
At the end of the passage, Goolsbee left a rhetoric question for us---”Is is too late to get an arborist into the budget negotiations?”. The author doesn’t expect an immediate answer, he means to challenge readers to clearness that it is never too late for being start. Before the question, the author set a fact for readers---”The forester’s motto says that the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago and the second best time is today”. By doing this, Goolsbee develops his argument and transfer the power to the idea that early education will never be late, it forcing the audiences to directly face an emotionally-charged inquiry.（这段的rhetorical question分析比较到位） Goolsbee uses plant tree to comprise a comprehensive example to tug at reader’s heart and brutally play to each of our emotions.（请具体点明属于什么技巧点，并联系主旨做深入分析）（本篇文章修辞比较丰富，可以考虑分析para2: personification+irony；para5 : analogy/symbolism）
By using a variety of persuasive techniques including credible evidence, statistics and expert knowledge, the author composed a compelling and authoritative piece of writing which informs readers that funding early education is crucial and persuades us to start early education from now.（结尾段完成情况不错！）
