说实话，每次双十一之前我都好焦虑！这种焦虑20%来自于买么没钱，不买么吃亏，剩下80%都来自要研究购物规则和参与各种养猫游戏！
To tell you the truth, I always feel anxious before double 11! 20% of this anxiety comes from the lack of money and loss. The remaining 80% comes from studying the rules of shopping and participating in various cat games!
不能太早结婚，会变成微商的。
朋友圈女性的三大定律：第一阶段晒自拍，第二阶段结婚后晒娃，第三阶段开始做微商 。
Don't get married too early. It will become a wechat business.
The three laws of women in the circle of friends: the first stage is to take self portraits, the second stage is to show the baby after marriage, and the third stage is to start wechat business.
泡枸杞，做瑜伽都不够养生，最好的养生方法是不上班，有效避免久坐带来的肌肉疲劳和推诿扯皮完的心力交瘁。
The best way to keep fit is not to go to work, which can effectively avoid muscle fatigue and mental fatigue caused by sitting down.
如果“吃”和“买”都不能让我愉悦起来，那问题就很严重了。
If "eating" and "buying" don't make me happy, then the problem is serious.
看着人头涌动的商场，我觉得自己是这个国家唯一上班的人。
Looking at the crowded shopping malls, I feel like I'm the only one working in this country.
打工人哲理：不要真情实感地工作。
职场如峡谷，大家都是单排匹配到一起的，各玩各的很正常，互相甩锅也很正常，谁也不想承认自己就是那个菜逼。
Working philosophy: don't work with real feelings.
The workplace is like a canyon. Everyone is matched in a single row. It's normal to play each other and throw pots at each other. No one wants to admit that he is the scum.
不禁要感叹，女孩子真是了不起的生物啊！可以喝到吐，可以困到流泪，但是躺下的那刻发现没卸妆，就能一个鲤鱼打挺起来卸。
I can't help but sigh that girls are really amazing creatures! Can drink to vomit, can be sleepy to tears, but lying down that moment found no makeup, can immediately get up to remove makeup.
拜托了，神啊。经历了这样的人生，至少让我做一次幸福的梦吧。
Please, God. After such a life, let me have a happy dream at least.
【图源：蛙哥开车】