上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷，皇马、曼城、切尔西等球队纷纷获胜，巴萨、曼联则收获平局，而RB莱比锡则继续领跑德甲积分榜。好啦，话不多说，让我们来看看歪果仁们精彩的吐槽吧！(PS:小编在Reddit上发现了一位中国翻墙网友的神评论，放在最后供大家翻译练习哦！自从看了段子手，妈妈再也不用担心我的四六级~)
【继续领跑！切尔西2-1热刺】
Icelandisbetter (热刺球迷)：埃里克森是不是进了第一个球之后就回丹麦去了，我几乎看不到他的影子了...(Did Eriksen just *ucfk** off back to Denmark after he scored that goal? Was missing for the whole game...)
RabidNerd (拉斯帕尔马斯球迷)：自从去年8月以来，孔蒂已经获得了10场英超胜利了，而穆帅却只有9场。(Premier League wins since August 2015: Antonio Conte - 10, Jose Mourinho - 9)
(图)孔大帅的迷之发际线变化史
Yix4 371(阿森纳球迷)：这对穆帅是不公平的！难道他也有像库尔图瓦、卡希尔、佩德罗、摩西、阿扎尔和科斯塔这样的球员吗？(Very unfair on Mourinho. Did he have players like Courtois, , Cahill, Matic, Pedro, Moses, Hazard or Costa at his disposal?)
【曼联1-1西汉姆联，穆帅被罚上看台】
kn0thing(未知主队球迷)：在本赛季的英超赛场，穆帅在老特拉福德被罚上看台的次数比赢球的次数都多…(José Mourinho has as many sendings off at Old Trafford in the league as he does home wins.)
TaeKurmulti 10(美国球迷)：来到老特拉福德球场，你不仅会亲眼看到穆帅，还有可能和他坐在一起看球哦！(Come to OT, you may not see a win but you have a chance to sit next to Mourinho.)
j-bear95(阿森纳球迷)：曼联已经主场连续四场联赛不胜了，这还是自1990年2月以来的第一次…(Man Utd have failed to win four league games in a row at Old Trafford for the first time since February 1990.)
CreativeCliffy(爱尔兰球迷)：曼联现在是不是每场比赛之后都会搞出一个这样奇怪的纪录出来…(I feel like there's some of the most bizarre stats brought up after every United game.)
WATSKEBURT_ 25(阿森纳球迷)：我的天，自从2014年莫天才和范厨师来了之后，真不敢相信直到现在曼联依然还有那么多纪录可以破…(omg…I honestly can't believe theres still more of these records to be broken since Moyes and LVG from 2014.)
ntussuramas 22(尤文图斯球迷)：我…我…我本来想给穆帅编个段子的，但看了我们昨天的比赛之后，我觉得我还是闭嘴吧…(I....I....I would like to make a Mourinho joke but after how we played today I'll be quiet.)
Pooldudeitsa(利物浦球迷)：一个有趣的纪录，就是今年9月份以来，还没有任何一支球队能够在曼彻斯特获得联赛胜利…无论是曼联、曼城还是来访的对手们，因为这些比赛全都踢成了平局！(Amazing stat from the Guardian's podcast; no team has won at Manchester since September.... not City, not United .... not even the opposing team! All matches have been draws!)
ItsDmar(利物浦球迷)：平剧场。(Theatre of draws.)
【艰难平局，巴萨1-1皇家社会】
elonaHippoBigga(巴萨球迷)：这场比赛，我萨的最佳球员应该是边裁吧！(MOTM for us was the linesman.)
Idtobiaspa(塞维利亚球迷)：哈哈，万万没想到你黑社会也有被人讹的一天啊！(Hard to believe La Real got robbed ahhh.)
ffca24(阿森纳球迷)：咦？巴萨什么时候球衣换成蓝白竖条的了？踢得真是牛逼啊！(I've never seen Barcelona in blue and white vertical stripes before, they played so well.)
Gkm64(未知主队球迷)：这场比赛巴萨只有47.8% 的控球率，这是红蓝军团自2008年瓜帅执教之后最差的一次。(Barcelona's 47.8% possession against Real Sociedad is its lowest figure since the start of the Guardiola era.)
SteveTwo(巴萨球迷)：恕我直言，今年巴萨的表现就跟去年贝秃手下的皇马一样，下周的国家德比简直不敢想象…..(To be honest we are just like the real Madrid under Benitez last year. It’s horrible to imagine what will happen next week.)
Chdudlow(未知主队球迷)：这场比赛巴萨对皇家社会门将的限制还是很不错的，你看鲁利这场比赛根本就没做出来几次扑救嘛！(At least Rulli was limited successfully as he hardly had any good save in this game.)
【皇马2-1希洪竞技，C罗梅开二度】
AnonAre(皇马球迷)：C罗已经连续6个赛季实现年度进球50+的壮举了，这是可史上第一次！(Cristiano Ronaldo is first player to score 50+ goals in six consecutive calendar years.)
Adrian5156(利物浦球迷)：有什么大惊小怪的？我已经习惯每周都见到一个以C开头的纪录诞生了。(So what? I’m already used to hear about a C-record every week.)
ridWael90 (皇马球迷)：我决定打开youtube来看一些本泽马的视频，因为这场比赛我根本就没看见他…(I had to go on youtube and watch a couple videos of Benzema cause he was nowhere to be seen in this game.)
【巩固榜首，RB莱比锡4-1弗莱堡】
kommerzfan1(莱比锡球迷)：即使在我最美妙的梦里，我也不敢想象我们能有今天这样的成绩。红牛真的给我们的梦想插上了翅膀！(Not even in my wildest dream did I think we would be this good this soon. Red Bull does give you wings apparently.)
AngrySnw(莱比锡球迷)：晚打开了几分钟电视，错过了一个进球；气得我举杯努饮，结果又错过了下一个进球…(Turn on TV a few minutes late...miss goal. So depressed that I get up to get a drink...miss goal again.)
Demarer 9(未知主队球迷)：然后你又打开Reddit来编段子，结果又错过了一个进球…(Write reddit comment... miss goal.)
Isoutrageous(热刺球迷)：莱比锡的表现真实不可思议！他们阵中的球员我认识的用一只手就能数的过来…(How come they're doing so well? I hadn't heard of more than a handful of players in their squad.)
vengM9(斯旺西球迷)：听说赛季前莱比锡夺冠的*率赔**是1:5000，不知道有谁买了没…(I am wondering was anyone there having bought that 1:5000 odds on Leipzig winning Bundesliga.)
【枪手3-1樱桃，大腿吉鲁激情相拥】
Stratrookie(阿森纳球迷)：真是一个精气相通的庆祝动作…(That was an intimate celebration.)
bozo7337 (阿森纳球迷)：不是很确定那个进球和庆祝哪一个更让我性奋…(Not sure what was sexier the goal or the celebration.
【阿圭罗进球，曼城2-1伯恩利】
Topright(曼城球迷)：我城这是开启XJBT赢球模式了？(Still, 3 points while playing poorly.)
Lseapugsftw(利物浦球迷)：唉，伯恩利，我本对你期望很高啊，你们可是这赛季唯一联赛击败我们的球队啊！(Damn it Brunley! I had high hopes for you. At least you are the only one beat us this season.)
【小西蒙尼两球，热那亚3-1尤文图斯】
UncleGuus (切尔西球迷)：18年后的今天，斑马军团再次体验到了当年被西蒙尼所支配的恐惧。(Juventus just experiences the fear given by Simone 18 years before again.)
Dwards 91(意大利球迷)：然而尤文依然在积分榜上领先4分。(Juve still 4 points ahead.)
翻译练习：
Dozck(中国球迷)：Watching football games at night is just like a dick, since it will always be hard when your wife sucks.