晚上好 性感巧克力
Evening, hot chocolate.
Max 麻烦大了 那小中国人又要耍花样了
Max, we got big trouble from Little China.
嗨 Max
Hi, Max.
*麻大**烦吗
Big trouble?
他全身上下跟大没有半毛钱关系
There's nothing big about him.
他就像我从娃娃机里抓到的玩具
He looks like I won him in a bear claw machine.
Max 什么话从Han的嘴里说出来最让人想死
Max, what is the worst sentence you ever want to come out of Han's mouth?
我把你肚子搞大了
I got you pregnant?
不是啦 更糟糕的
Come on, bad, bad.
我又把你肚子搞大了
I got you pregnant again?
我要装个卡拉OK
I'm putting in karaoke.
不 不
No! No!
Han
Han...
那些家伙最好赶紧滚蛋 因为"踢屁股"被正式加到菜单里
Those guys better be up there because we're officially putting ass crack on the menu.
我弄个电视来吸引更多顾客
I am adding a TV to bring in more customers.
我们就可以有主题之夜了 终极格斗之夜
We can have theme nights, Ultimate Fighter nights,
都市真心绝望主妇之夜
Real Desperate Housewives of Bravo City nights,
最赞的是卡拉OK之夜
and best of all, karaoke night.
你不能给那些嬉皮士麦克风
You can't get hispters on microphone.
这不是火上浇油嘛
That's like throwing gasoline on a pretentious fire.
嬉皮士喜欢卡拉OK
Hipsters like karaoke.
把"喜欢"换成"希特勒"
Replace the word "Like" with the word "Hitler"
三个史上最渣的东西就凑一块儿了
And you've got the three worest things in history.
Max 就知道你会反对的 但是大家跟我唱 嗨
Max, I hear what you say, but everybody else say "He-ey!"
诸位单身美女们
All my single ladies!
下一个出场唱Katy Perry的"Teenage Dream"
Okay. Next person is going to sing Teenage Dream by Katy Perry,
虽然现在是个大美妞 但曾经满脸的痘痘
who is pretty now but used to have very horrible acne.
45分钟里三次"Teenage Dream "
This is the third Teenage Dream in 45 minutes.
我还不如把蛋蛋夹进收银机里一了百了
Why don't I just close my nuts in the cashier's drawer?
快上来吧 Stacey妹纸
Come on up now, girl named "Stacey. "
我来搞定
I got this.
听着 我不认识你 但是我喜欢你
Look, I don't know you, but I like you.
你俩种发色都挺不错的
And I respect both hair choices.
我恨卡啦OK
I hate karaoke.
我心中的恨意犹如滔滔江水
I can't afford to have any more hate in my head.
我恨的都无以复加了
My hate is at capacity.
别唱了 我免费给你水果馅饼吃
Sit this one out, I'll comp your cobbler.
你都干了神马
What did you do?
我救了Earl的命根子
I saved Earl's nuts.
拿去 刚出炉的 快拿去
Pick up! Hot food. Pick up.
别叮叮了 Oleg
Calm your bells down, Oleg.
不是我的单子
Not my stations.
Caroline呢
Where's Caroline?
如果我说她现在跟我在后面
Would it make you jealous
你会嫉妒咩
if I said she was back here with me?
嫉妒 不可能
Jealous? No.
发飙 很有可能 因为现在忙得要死
Pissed? Probably, because we're busy
我还得花老大把时间
and it would take me all that time
从她的嘴和手上扯下胶带
to get the duct tape off her mouth and hands.
你在这儿干嘛呢 白雪公主
What are you doin' in here, snow white?
如果你在找小矮人的话
If you're lookin' for one of your dwarves,
他在外面 拿着麦克风呢
he's out there, holding the mic.
看 我的咬痕不对劲儿
Look, my bite is off.
我做了个咬痕测试
See, I did the bite test.
7号切牙都越过9号了
The number seven incisor is crossing over number nine.
等等 你知道你的牙齿的学名
Hold up. You know the names of your teeth?
你不知道
Don't you?
我连我爸叫啥都不知道好吗
I don't even know the name of my father.
哦 我刚才咬到舌头了
Ow, I just bit my tongue.
哈 12号也来凑热闹了
Ah! Number 12 just joined the party.
你最好赶紧别再做那个动作了
I'd stop doing that right now.
您正式进入了Oleg的意淫殿堂
You just made it into Oleg's spank bank.
祝贺你哟
Congratulations.
没了护牙器我要怎么活啊
What am I gonna do without my bite guard?
我的牙都不知道该往哪儿长了
My teeth don't know where to go.
哦 或许让它们乱串几年它们就知道了
Well, maybe the should just backpack for a couple of years they will figer out.
听着 靓牙小姐
Listen, perfect teeth,
这对我来说就是噩梦啊
this is a nightmare for me.
专业术语称为"预发性磨牙"
The technical term for this is "Advanced bruxism. "
用专业术语形容你就是"极度做作”
And the technical term for you is "Overly dramatic. "
昨天你就因为咱没有厕纸就抓狂了
Yesterday you freaked out 'cause we were out of toilet paper.
像别人一样憋到工作的地方解决不就行了
Just hold it till you get to work like everybody else.
现在 趁大家都在休息我就献歌一首吧
Now, maybe I sing while others wait.
啊哦 我们真的有麻烦了
Uh-oh. We got real problems now.
我选择唱苏珊大妈爆红网络的歌
I choose Susan Boyle popular song from all clips on Internet.
名字叫 我梦
It's called I Dream-
接着梦吧
Keep dreaming.
哦 你回来啦 我们还以为你跑路了
Oh, you're back. We thought you ran away.
我和栗栗正准备去避难所挑一个新的人类玩儿呢
Chestnut and I were just about to pick out another human from the shelter.
我今天惨爆了
I had quite a day.
八点到十点 磨 磨 疼
8:00 to 10:00... Grind, grind, pain.
十点到十一点 疼 疼 接着磨
10:00 to 11:00... Pain, pain, grind.
所以我去了药店买了8块钱的护牙器
So I went to the drug store and bought an $8 bite guard,
但是跟我那张蒂姆伯顿般的血盆大口不适合
which didn't fit my freaky Tim Burton mouth.
所以我去退货
And when I tried to return it,
叫Rhonda的收银员 胸牌上面写着乐于助人
the cashier, Rhonda, whose nametag said she was happy to help,
但是她既不欢乐也不助人 还跟我说拒不退货
but who was neither happy nor helpful, said that I couldn't return it
因为牙套已经和我滴小牙牙亲密接触了
because it had already touched my "Teef. "
作为一个疼得下巴都快掉了的人
For someone whose jaw is about to unhinge,
你竟然还能叽叽歪歪说个不停
you're sure flapping it a lot.
为嘛这儿会有印着我爹照片的破报纸
Why is this rag with my father on it here?
别看我 栗栗买的
Don't look at me. Chestnut bought it.
他超爱我给他念每日马闻
He likes it when I read him his daily horse-oscope.
为什么所有人都对他还没表态这件事紧抓不放
Why is everybody so obsessed with the fact that he hasn't said anything?
你就没有说不出话的时候吗
Haven't you ever been any lost for words?
卫生棉条 没过 说话 顺溜得很
Tampons, yes. Words, nah.
好吧 这会让我感觉好点
Well, this will make me feel better.
无论何时我受到伤害 都需要治愈
Whenever I'm in pain, I need a treat.
知道不 无论何时你受伤就是给我的治愈
You know, whenever you're in pain, that is my treat.
寿司 我希望你会喜欢蟹肉卷
Sushi! I hope you like crab roll.
我从没吃过寿司
I never had sushi.
这怎么可能
That doesn't even make sense.
没吃过寿司 没看过牙医 你何方神圣啊
No sushi, no dentist... Who are you?
穷人呗
A poor person.
寿司太省事了吧
Sushi's lazy.
如果我去你的餐厅 你好歹也给我做条鱼啊
If I come to your restaurant, get up off your ass and cook the damn fish.
我真希望我们能有钱去Tribeca那家
I wish we could afford to go to this little sushi place
我和我爸常去的寿司店
in Tribeca where my father always took me.
我们总有个小玩笑
We had this little joke.
每次我们走进去 我就会说
Every time we'd walk in, I'd always say...
啊 对不起 再来一盘 拜托啦
Ah, sumimasen, mou sukoshi o-toro onegaishimasu.
然后大家就大笑
And we would just laugh!
所以你连说日语都不好笑
So you're not funny in Japanese either.
我在转角的熟食店买的
I got this at a corner deli.
收银员是个日本人
The cashier was Japanese.
她说挺好吃的
She said it was good.
哦 我确定是挺好的
Oh, I'm sure it's great.
人家大老远移民过来服侍你这种被惯坏的妞
'Cause the disenfranchised immigrant serving the spoiled white girl
当然不会对你撒谎
would have no reason to lie.
准备好享受天堂般的美食了吗
Get ready for something heavenly!
才不是天堂类
That's not heaven.
- 赶紧吐出来 - 呕
- Spit it out. - Ugh!
呕
Ugh!
太令人失望了
What a disappointment.
你的第一次啊
Your first time.
这还挺符合我和我所有第一次的风格
Well, that's kinda the way it goes with me and first times.
拿去 自己擦干净
Here, clean yourself off.
这跟我的第一次一模一样啊
That's exactly the way it goes!
这没那么糟糕
It's not that bad.
这绝对不是很糟糕 不是很糟糕
It's not that bad. It's not that bad.
才怪
No.
对于一家在地铁站里的牙医诊所来说
For a dentist office in the subway,
已经不错了
it's pretty good.
说真的 你怎么还没从这闪人
Seriously, how are you not running out of here?
我没得选
I have no choice.
我现在没钱也没健康保险
Now that I have no money or health insurance,
我必须适应这种第三世界的状况
I have to get used to this third-world situation.
第三世界状况
Third-world situation?
这可是地狱世界状况
This is an underworld situation.
好吧 这有防弹玻璃
Okay, there's bulletproof glass.
上面还有颗*弹子**
With a bullet in it.
好吧 所以这玻璃还是管用的
All right, so the glass works.
这说要挂号
It says to sign in.
听着 拿点我们蛋糕生意的存款
Look, why don't you just take some of our cupcake business savings
去一个好点的牙医诊所
and go to a good dentist office?
那种你不会连看一眼地板都感染上细菌病毒的地方
You know, one where you won't get a staph infection just from looking at the floor.
不 我们不能这么做
No, we can't do that.
那是我们的未来
That's our future.
只要我们开始这么干
Once we start doing that,
就会越来越堕落
it's a slippery slope.
Nicole Richie
"Nicole Richie"?
我不想让别人知道我来过这儿
I don't want anyone to know I was here.
现在这地方不是很理想
I know this situation is less than ideal,
但是我有牙齿紧急状况
but I am having a dental emergency.
不 他那才是紧急状况
No, he's having a dental emergency.
来吧 我们过去看看那个男的能不能帮上忙
Come on, let's go over here and see if this man can help me.
嗨
Hi.
欢迎来到"地铁微笑"
Welcome to Subway Smiles.
我跟你说了 一会儿就到你了
I told ya, we'll get to ya.
抱歉啊妹子
I'm sorry, girls.
我的手有点抖
I'm a little shaky.
刚才有人朝我开枪
I was just shot at.
我的牙齿有点移位
I have a problem with my teeth migrating.
我有预发性磨牙症
I have advanced bruxism.
啊 我还有丙肝呢
Ah. I have hep C.
每个人都有点毛病嘛
Everybody's got their something.
你需要什么
What do you need?
我们需要走人
We need to be leaving.
我只需要一副护牙器
I just need a bite guard.
哦 这个我有
Oh! I can do that.
我要射点儿泡泡进你嘴巴里然后做个模型
That's where I squirt foam into your mouth and make a mold.
进来
Come in the back.
如果你跟他进去
If you go back there with him,
你不但要护牙器你还要带防狼器
you'll need a bite guard and a rape guard.
你要麻醉吗
You want the gas?
必须吗
Is that necessary?
你会需要的 甜心
You're gonna want the gas, sweetheart.
打烊之前最后一首歌
One more song before we close.
我要唱辣妹组合的 告素我乃要神马
I sing Spice Girls' Aww, tell me what you want,
乃尊地尊地想要神马
what you really, really want.
这孩子简直比Michele Bachmann的老公看基佬*舞艳**还僵硬
That boy's more stiff than Michele Bachmann's husband at a Chippendales.
我给你钱去看好点儿的牙医吧
I will give you the money for trip to fancy dentist.
真的 Oleg 你真的要给我钱
Really? Oleg, you would do that?
这是我帮你忙
It's favor I do for you.
下一次 我需要你帮忙的时候
And at some point, when I come to you for favor,
你必须答应 就跟我现在一样
you will say yes, like I say yes now.
我要知道你要我帮什么忙才行
Well, I'd need to know what that favor might be.
我不确定
I can't say for sure.
是一周内还是一个月
Will it be in a week or a month?
我不确定
I can't say for sure.
跟性有关吗
Will it be sexual?
是的 必须的
Yes, it will be.
这个我能确定
This I can say for sure.
谢谢 但是算了
Thank you, but no.
我真是个白痴
I am such an idiot.
我爱听 接着说
I like it. Keep going.
我的护牙器就躺在我家别墅的浴室里
My bite guard is just sitting in the bathroom of my townhouse.
如果我能爬上屋顶 我就能破窗而入
If I could only get up on the roof,then I could break in through the skylight
就像我高中的时候经常做的那样
like I used to when I snuck out in high school.
嗨 我是Max 咱们认识吗
Hello, I'm Max. Have we met?
在我十五岁的时候
When I was 15
我贿赂了保安没有在天窗上装报警系统
I paid the security system guys extra to not wire the skylight
然后我偷偷溜出去参加了Ilana Shapiro的十六岁生日聚会
and then I snuck out and went to Ilana Shapiro's Sweet 16...
- 不错 - 在希腊
- Cute. - In Greece.
牛叉
Hardcore.
我原来经常溜出去跟我的前海军男友吸油漆
I used to sneak out of the house and huff spray paint with an ex- marine.
我经常偷偷溜出去 看看星星 做做梦
And sometimes, I'd just sneak out,look up at the stars, and dream.
竟然从你嘴里说出来
And then you said that.
我就说我能打开天窗的
See, I told you I can get this skylight open.
开灯啊
Turn on a light!
等我关上衣柜的门
Wait till I close the closet door.
为什么地板这么软
Why are the floors so bouncy?
这叫地毯
It's called "Carpet. "
我去
What?
不可能 绝对不可能
No way. No way.
这是纳尼亚王国吗
Is this Narnia?
我发誓我下面要说的话我这辈子从没说过
I'm about to say something I swore I'd never say.
我 滴 神
O.M.G.
再来一次 我 滴 神
Again... O.M.G.
这感叹很烂 但是没有更好的表达了
It's lame, but nothing else really nails it.
我滴神这词儿就是为这个房间儿诞生的
This is the room that O.M.G. Was born for.
Max 这只是我的衣柜
Max, it's just my closet.
你的衣服都有大房子住啊
Your clothes have a house!
看啊 看啊
Look, look!
你真有钱
You are rich!
我知道你说过你很有钱 但是你也太有钱了吧
Like, I know you've said you were rich,but you are rich.
你让我好羞射
You're embarrassing me.
你疯了吗 这有什么好羞射的
Are you crazy? This is nothing to be embarrassed about.
这是干嘛的
What's this do?
我的天 你有一个烤鞋架
Oh, my God.You have a shoe rotisserie.
我设计的 我叫它"高跟鞋摩天轮"
I designed it.I call it my "Ferris Heels. "
要我有这么个玩意儿也会叫这名 所以就不鄙视你了
I'd judge you if that wasn't exactly what I'd call it if I had one.
我们得撤了
Okay, we should really go now.
我去拿我的护牙器
Lemme just grab my bite guard.
我去
What?
你的衣柜里还有个博物馆
You have a museum in your closet?
拜托 这只是个浴室
Come on, it's just a bathroom.
只是个浴室 这是便便的卢浮宫
Just a bathroom?It's the Louvre of pooping.
找到了
Here it is.
哦 哦 哦
Ow. Ow. Ow.
哦 好棒
Oh, yeah.
你们要不要单独呆一会儿
Do you two need to be left alone?
我们必须走了 此地不宜久留
We have to go.Can't risk staying much longer.
哇 还以为你的声音不能更刺耳呢
Wow. Just when I thought your voice couldn't get any more grating.
这个会松的
It'll loosen up.
噢
Oh.
说真的 必须走了
Seriously, we should go.
我想在咱们走之前做一件事
Oh, um, I just have to do one thing before we go.
我想我和你的浴缸融为一体了
I think me and your tub are going steady.
看来你找到按摩钮了
Oh, you found the jacuzzi button.
我不知道谁找到谁的 但是我们最终合体了
I don't know who found who,but we're together now.
我一定要顺走这些荒谬的香皂
I'm totally stealing some of these ridonculous bath soaps.
这个外形看起来像是阴道
This one's shaped like a vagina.
贝壳
Seashell.
姐姐 这个看起来就像个薄荷绿的阴道
Sister, this is a mint green vagina.
你的毕业舞会是和爸爸一起去的吗
Did you go to the prom with your dad?
那是我初次公开的名媛舞会
That's my debutante dance,when I came out.
公开 像是你公开在跟爸爸约会吗
Out? Like you came out that you were dating your dad?
真恶心
Gross.
我想我还能塞进一个鹅绒枕
I think I can still fit a goose feather pillow in.
这张你和栗栗还有你爸爸的合照是什么时候的
Hey, what's this one of you and Chestnut and your dad?
那是我爸爸送给我栗栗的时候
Oh, that's when my dad bought Chestnut for me.
我第一次来姨妈的礼物
It was my first-period present.
你老爸给你买了一匹马纪念你来例假
Your dad got you a horse for getting your period?
我 滴 神
O.M.G.
你知道我怎么庆祝的初潮的吗
Know how I celebrated getting my period?
从我妈妈男朋友那里偷了止痛药片跟半瓶啤酒
Stole a painkiller and half a beer from my mom's boyfriend.
虽然不是马 但是也超赞的
Wasn't a horse, but it was pretty awesome.
怎么没看到你妈妈的照片
How come there are no pictures of your mom?
因为压根就没有
'Cause there aren't any.
在我五岁那年 她因为出轨
She cheated on my dad when I was five
被我奶奶扫地出门了
and my grandmother got rid of her.
不是用*力暴**而是败坏了她的名声 反而更坏
Not in, like, a mob way.In a society way, which is worse.
所以谁把你带大的呢
So who raised you?
1989到1996是Estella
Well, Estella from 1989 to 1996.
之后是Dominica 从1997直到她回到了危地马拉
Then, Dominica from '97 until she went back to Guatemala.
然后就没了
Then no one.
好吧 你没爸爸 我没妈妈 我们...
Funny.You didn't have a father, and I didn't have a mother. So we're-
我们很像吗
Oh, we're alike?
看看四周 我们一点都不像
Look around. We have nothing in common.
这个按钮是干嘛的
Hey, what's this button for?
音乐
Music.
让我猜猜 流行音乐 男孩乐队
Oh, lemme guess. Show tunes? Boy bands?
我爱这首歌
I love this song!
看吧
See?
我就知道我们不会像太久
I knew what we had in common wouldn't last.
你是不是跳了小丑舞
Were you krumping for a second?
可能吧 你是不是跳了摇摆舞
Maybe. Were you tootsie-rolling for a second?
是啊
Yes.
穿好衣服 我们真的的走了
Okay, get dressed.We really should go now.
我拿了生活必需品
I have all the essentials.
卫生棉条 卫生纸 被子 爽肤水
Tampons, toilet paper, comforter, body shimmer.
等下 为什么不拿衣服
Wait, what about the clothes?
我拿它干嘛啊 穿着三千美金的大衣走在威廉斯堡吗
Oh, what am I gonna do? Walk around Williamsburg in a $3000 gown?
我的天啊 等下
Oh, my God.Wait a minute.
拿上所有还挂着吊牌的 我们可以去卖掉
Grab everything with a price tag on it that we can resell.
或者你觉得我穿上去好看的
Or that you think I'd look amazing in.
别动皮草 那里有警报器
Not the furs! They're wired!
为什么要给皮草装警报器
Why would you wire the furs?
每个人就都给皮草装警报 *人贱**
Everybody wires the furs, bitch!
警卫十分钟之内就会到
Security's gonna be here in ten minutes.
拿你能拿的就好
Just grab everything you can.
等下 我们怎么把这些东西搬到布鲁克林
Wait! How are we going to carry it all back to Brooklyn?
嫉妒吗
Jealous?
看 有两个座位
Look, two seats.
我觉得你拿得比我多
I think you got more stuff than me.
因为你花了五分钟跟浴缸告别
Well, you spent five minutes saying good-bye to the tub.
这是我去舞会最爱带的包
This was my fave purse to take dancing.
怎么在你疯狂乱舞的时候没有把这个甩出去
How'd you keep it on your shoulder when you went all mad crump?
看哪 二百美金
Look. $200!
我们已经穿着皮草坐在地铁上了
It's not enough we're sitting on the subway in furs...
你是不是要给我们招来杀身之祸啊
You gotta make it rain?
这太让人高兴了 这个要算进我们的蛋糕存款
This is so exciting.It's going right into our cupcake fund.
- 或者... - 或者什么
- Or- - Or what?
你跟你爸爸老去的地方叫什么来着
Where was that place you always went with your dad?
黑松露吞拿鱼寿司
Toro with black truffle.
你准备迎接寿司的高潮吧
You are about to have a sushi toro-gasm.
你冷静点行不 这只是...
Will you calm down? It's just-
我亲爱的上帝啊 这太美味了
Oh, sweet bejesus, that's delicious!
如果这是寿司 上次我们吃的是什么
If this is sushi,what was that other stuff we ate?
异端 各种不靠谱
Wrong. On every level.
我们需要更多的 像这个 全部都要
We need more of this.Like, all of it.
麻烦再给我们一些吞拿鱼
Can we have some more toro?
非常感谢
Thank you so much.
然后 嗯...
And, uh...
对不起 拜托你了 再来一盘寿司
Ah, sumimasen, mousukoshi otoro onegaishimasu.
再来一碟 超级拜托
otoro chou onegaishimasu.
我现在听懂了 因为姐是有钱人
I get it now 'cause I'm rich.
我不知道你怎么放弃这一切的
I don't know how you're pulling it off.
你什么意思
What do you mean?
放弃你原来拥有的一切啊
Giving up everything that you had.
衣服 牙医 寿司 浴缸
The maids, the closet, the dentist, the sushi, the tub.
所有的一切 浴缸
All of it. The tub.
我对它恋恋不舍 虽然我才跟它一个小时
I almost can't give it up,but I only had it for an hour.
你简直太强悍了
You're kind of a badass.
Max 你刚说我强悍
Max, you just called me a badass.
我现在因为黑松露醉了
I'm drunk on black truffle.
我爸爸
It's my dad!
等下 他真的存在吗 像那幢别墅和浴缸一样真实存在
Wait, he actually exists? Like the townhouse and the tub?
浴缸
The tub.
嗨 爸爸 你怎么样
Hi, daddy. How are you?
我真的好想你
I miss you so much.
我很好啊 不 我说的是真的
I'm good. No, really.
我还跟我的朋友Max住在布鲁克林
I'm still staying in Brooklyn with my friend, Max.
她非常好
She's great.
哦
Oh!
好的 等下
Oh, okay. Hold on.
我爱你 爸爸
Love you, daddy.
他要跟你说话
He wants to talk to you.
我 为什么
Me? Why?
我不知道要说什么啊
I wouldn't know what to say.
快点 他只有五分钟
Take it! He's only allowed five minutes.
哟 肿么样啊 Martin Channing
Yo, what's up, Martin Channing?
哦
Oh.
不客气 但是我...
You're welcome, but I di-
好的 谢谢你
Well, thank you.
对 她非常好
Yeah, she's great.
她很勇敢
Real trooper.
好吧 拜 什么
Well, bye. What?
好的 我会告诉她
Okay, I'll tell her.
爸爸
Daddy?
他挂了
He's gone.
所以这就是爸爸的声音啊
So that's what a father sounds like.
他说什么了
What did he say?
他让我转告你别忘了你的护牙器
He wanted me to remind you to wear your bite guard.
看 他不像是大家说得那么坏
See, he can't be as bad as everyone says.
他不可能那么坏的
He just can't be.
请慢用
Arigatou gozaimashita.
我的天 二百元不够啊
Oh, my God.The 200 didn't cover it.
快翻皮包
Start checking the purses!
嘿 你们家收帽子吗
Oh, hey. Do you take hats?
在屋子里有*女熟**吗
Any cougars in the house?
普及一下知识
And in case you don't know
"*女熟**"指的是有着强大的性欲大龄女青年
"Cougar" Means older lady with a large sexual appetite.
她们穿着紧身衣 渴望得到年轻小伙的滋润
Lady past prime with tight clothes who wants sex from young men.
Max 知道比卡拉OK还要让人想死的事吗
Max, what is the one thing worse than karaoke?
哦 不是吧
Oh, no.
没错 麦克风开放之夜
That's right. Open mic night.
*女熟**很会骗人的
Cougar also have face lift.
背后看看二十二
From behind, look 22.
正面一看七十二
She turn around, 72.
那是事实
It's true!
这好笑因为那是事实
It's funny 'cause it's true.
坏消息 他们加强了安全防备 因为我们出动了警报
Bad news.They heightened security because we tripped the alarm.
整个别墅都被锁了
The entire townhouse is locked down.
我们再也回不去了
We can never go back!
我的浴缸
My tub!
为什么每一个让我开心的东西都要被关进铁窗啊
Why does anything that gives me pleasure wind up behind bars?
别提浴缸了
Forget about the tub.
一切都被清查了
Everything was inventoried.
我们不能卖掉皮草了 我早就应该想到这个
We can't sell the furs.I should've thought of that!
是啊 你早就应该想到
Yeah, you should've.
因为你知道他们总会清查皮草的 *人贱**
'Cause you know they always inventory the furs, bitch!
目前总资产 $543.25美刀